i freak out about kelli leaving in small steps. i don't want to lay it on her, it isn't her job to take care of me. it's her job to live her life the best she can. and she can best do it from pittsburgh. somewhere deep inside i knew it, i think, but denied it. but unlike doc, she doesn't have to trust my claims of "it will get better soon" like doc does, as my husband.
in other news, i have finally, after having them in the package for 5 years, gotten my contact lenses and my eyes to get together. i'm loveing it. it means i can go out in the daytime with sunglasses, with only the heat to keep me down. i can filter the light.
my first big test comes june fifth, i am walking up to my shrink appointment alone and doc is meeting me there from work. it will be evening when i go and i know i can do the walk, and i know where the office is and everything. i have no doubts right now i can do this.
a year ago i was in the hospital. getting zapped. i'm treasuring my freedom this year.