Cydniey Buffers (cydniey) wrote,
Cydniey Buffers

last year and beyond

i started here and kept reading.

and i read this, "i smile a lot more now. happiness is a default setting." what happened to that? i'm so blank now. i have what is called a flat affect. sometimes i have the return of the mindless anger. but happiness as a default setting, i need that back.

and i read this, "i'd write more, but i really can't think clearly right now and it is frustrating me to try." and that is what i feel almost all the time now, and it was right after an ECT session. scary.

i stopped here. i had forgotten this part of things. i wonder if i made the right decision, still. i wonder if i had finished the treatments, if things would be better. i have no real reason to think so since i'm still all memory challenged.

but enough of that . . .

in completely other news . . .

i find that i am crushing hard on an lj friend. this never happens to me. i won't do anything about it, the person is involved, but i find it kind of interesting.

Snakes on a Plane and Top Secret should be in the mailbox waiting for us. i've been trying to get my butt out the door all morning. i woke up/got up at 8:30. i think i'll take my meds and take a nap. i wanted to play with my beading stuff today. after nap. i also have pictures to take of stuff that isn't listed anywhere. so i have things to do. i need to push myself to do them. especially because i know that at least three items will sell immediately. and there are other pieces that are perfect for summer. incentive to get it done. do i remember how to do my ebay listings? i did it when kelli got here. that was a few months ago, but i figured it out then, i should be able to figure it out again.

  • dry hot and dusty as hell

    My last surviving grand parent died a couple of weeks ago. Two days to the hour o my Nana's death, my favorite cat, Boo, died in my arms. The grief…

  • Hey there, hi there, ho there

    I'm back, bitches and bastards, TC paid for a forever pass, I should use it. The cops came over and did a welfare check about a month ago. My…

  • Got Caught Stealing

    Having had yet another clever thing stolen by a bunch of what I have to assume are white middle aged hate macines; The line in my twitter profile…

  • Post a new comment


    default userpic

    Your reply will be screened

    Your IP address will be recorded 

    When you submit the form an invisible reCAPTCHA check will be performed.
    You must follow the Privacy Policy and Google Terms of use.