she doesn't even need to check on me to keep me from cutting. just the thought that she might pop in and catch me is enough to keep from doing it. i still want to do it, a lot.
and a therapist isn't such a bad idea. i just felt yesterday that he had given up hope on me. and i'm not cool with that.
but i feel much better about it with a bit of time and perspective.
i need to start doing my podcast again. it is the simplest form of creativity available to me and i really need to take advantage of that.
plus, i feel pretty good today. i was okay with doc leaving. and i'm okay being alone. i just ate a small cake (kelli made small star shaped cakes) for breakfast. i think i'll have some raisin bran in an hour to make up for it.
i have some pictures on my camera, so i'm going to do a random picture post soon.