Cydniey Buffers (cydniey) wrote,
Cydniey Buffers

today scared me because i felt like my doctor was giving up hope on me. i am also mad at the 10+ years of taking medication that did me no good. but mostly i'm scared about what is going to happen when i stop repressing and start talking to someone about all my "issues". keeping it inside has by no means kept me sane, but we don't know what the alternative will do. and that freaks me out. and how close i got to a one way ticket to the hospital today. just because i want to hurt myself. lucky i was able to say that i have a friend who stays with me during the day who can keep an eye on me. that kept me free. i can call this free. i'll sleep in my own bed tonight and won't be surrounded by the smell of antiseptic.

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