Cydniey Buffers (cydniey) wrote,
Cydniey Buffers
cydniey

i went out and got some cold sunlight today. kelli and i went up to the store. i got soft food, another tooth broke over the weekend. not even jack o'lanterns have such a silly smile as mine. the teeth are there, just barely.

speaking of soft food, we're still giving the cats a can a day. it doesn't last as long, now that chloe has learned the joy of wet food. she's going to tub out, she is in that food like me on cookies. it has become a treat they ask and beg for. with much affection leading up to the begging. they think they are training me to feed them wet food when really i am training them to pay me more attention.

i've been having problems with my memory. i keep forgetting that henry is dead and i look for him. i never know what day of the week it is. inside me is complete chaos with big holes in it that i can't remember. it's an interesting feeling. i've been hiding out, just being alone and feeling it. letting my memory come and go as it pleases. letting other feelings come and go.

doc has put his foot down about my getting a job. i'm not ready yet. he didn't want to, because i was so enthusiastic, but he had thought it was a passing thing, but as i get closer to getting my ID, i got more excited about where i was going to apply. when he saw i was still planning on it, he sat me down and talked to me about it. i was let down, but i'm not going to argue with him over it.

he wants me to start being creative again. so we're getting the sewing machine fixed. i don't feel creative. and i was happy floating on the creative block, but he wants me to find that outlet again. so i will. somehow.

it's almost time to go hide for a while.
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