Cydniey Buffers (cydniey) wrote,
Cydniey Buffers
cydniey

i made my goal of showering yesterday. i felt worlds better after i had, i need to hold on to that feeling.

i walked up with kelli to the store. all i got was hair color. so today i get rid of these nasty brown roots and the few grey hairs i am haunted by. though i'm really lucky, when my mom was my age, she was all salt and pepper. if i didn't dye my hair red, it would be almost all brown with only a few stragglers being grey. i dye it because i look better with red hair. i have blue eyes and paler than pale skin, red works well. brown washes out what little color i have in my cheeks.

i also went out without taking a xanax first. another lesson learned, i have to quit doing that. i was afraid on the whole walk that the cars were going to jump the curb and hit me and kelli. to be fair, as kelli pointed out, in this town that is not a completely unfounded fear. so not all my fears are irrational. just bothersome.

we're building up cash to get the car out of "jail" once the title gets here. shortly after that i will have my driver's liscense and the battle of the car and the apartment complex should end. i have to make sure it ends. we can't have this happen again. too much money is involved. though, if there is a next time, we will have the title and registration on hand.

jack just came out to me and meowed several times rather alarmingly and then went into the bathroom and threw up. then i cuddled him and gave him some water. i get so scared now when the cats get ill. especially when meowing in belly pain precedes it. now he's hanging out by where my feet would be if i weren't sitting in the chair indian style. poor belly ache kitty.

but i guess it's normal. cats puke sometimes.

now i need to decide if i'm going to stay up for the morning, or if i'm going to go back to bed and let the meds put me to sleep for a couple of hours. i don't ache from the bed today, so going straight back to it won't be a painful thing. that is pretty much what decides it.

if you've seen the ads on TV for Cymbalta, it claims to take away depression and the aches and pains that go with it so often. to me, this claim is true. it has helped with my depression and i don't feel icky most of the time like i did before i started taking it. it makes me that much more aware of any aches or pains in my body from regular stuff. like the bed. or the leg aches when i go walking with kelli. and i welcome these normal pains that have a cause.
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