Cydniey Buffers (cydniey) wrote,
Cydniey Buffers

kelli had something to say about henry's death, here:

we were all glad that henry held on until she got here. she got to say good bye with the rest of us. it was a series of good fortune that brought her here early and in time to say goodbye.

there's a lot of belief floating around about henry. belief that he held on until kelli got here. belief that the candles i keep lit for him do some sort of good in his afterlife. belief that he has an afterlife.

and i can't believe any of it. i am mad at a universe that would take my sister and then take one of my constant companions. and that anger clouds my belief.

i'm mad at me. if i had fed him more . . . if i had gotten him to the vet the day before he died, like i was supposed to . . . if i had done something, anything, to stop his passing. and i know on the surface that i did all i could and more. but deeper down, i don't know that inside.

and as i lament and write this, jack cuddles up against my leg and leeloo lays down on the bed. they know i am missing something. leeloo jumped up on the couch and lay with me like hank used to. they know. and that is the most common question we get asked, do we think the other cats know hank is gone. and yes, i believe in that. i think that they do. and they know i am sad.

i love my cats. my children.

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