Cydniey Buffers (cydniey) wrote,
Cydniey Buffers

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morning musings

i'm not freaking out about the car today. it is sunday, there is nothing to be done. so i'm going to put it out of my obsessive little mind. tomorrow we spring into action like we have kung fu grip.

doc made more cookies. my willpower is only so strong. chocolate peanut butter chip this time. he takes them to work and shares with his pals. i need to show some strength and not eat as many as i want. i could just eat cookies for every meal. breakfast, have a cookie. lunch, have another. flour, eggs, what's the big deal? home made cookies are their own food group.

i'm up now, in the early of the morning. but i took my day meds and should be going back to sleep for a couple of hours soon. i'll just sit here and wait for my eyes to cross and then stumble back into bed. hee.

the clothes i picked up the day before yesterday were my christmas present. the jeans and flannel from doc and the tailored tshirt from kelli. i chose not to have them wrapped so i could wear them immediately. the black tailored t will be good to wear under other things. since i'm not as tailored in the torso as the shirt. the jeans are a bit long, but for $2.50, i am not going to complain. i like them longer anyway. and i just want to say that i love goodwill.

my doctor asked about henry and i told him the news. he asked if i plan to get another cat. i said no and told him about jack maturing before we consider another cat.

jack has become a mama's boy. he curls up with me when i go to sleep and he wakes me up in the mornings. during the day he still has his wild independent streak and won't get near humans for love. but when i'm in bed, he's my precious baby.

leeloo is slowly turning from a people hater to a mommy liker. she climbed up in my lap the other day and we wondered if she had been replaced by aliens. then she curled up with me last night as i watched tv with doc.

so their personalities are developing. after 8 years, leeloo is finally being affectionate. jack still walks around most of the day looking for things to get into or cats to torment. we have a laser pointer that we play with them with. jack gets so worked up that he drools. and the other cats chase the pointer as well. it's the only toy that all three of them will play with.

worries are actually few. while the car drama is up in the air, we have rent and our bills are paid. we even have money to pay on henry's vet bill. we want that paid off asap so we can take the others in for their shots and check ups. now that i know i can take a caged cat on the bus, it will be easy to get to the vet and back. if a little loud. the cats meow in the cage the whole time they are in it. but it's a short ride on the bus.

i feel so empowered after our trip to goodwill. we took the bus and i knew the stop and it all went smoothly. next month i'm to go to my shrink appointment with kelli and remember where the stop is and get back to the bus in time. and i feel like i can do it. with kelli, there is nothing i can't do. i said i needed a Smail (see "Benny and Joon"), and it isn't so much what the Smail does, it is just having a companion to help with the sticky stuff. i'm not so paranoid outside with her with me. i can focus better on where i'm going and what i'm doing. i can go grocery shopping now and actually get the stuff i need instead of random shit that pops in my head. hell, i can get to the grocery store now.

and one of the best things is that doc has time to himself now. our room has become his hangout, he watches the tv programs he wants to watch and the cats go in and lay on the bed with him. he doesn't always have to be concentrating on me and keeping me happy so i wouldn't snowball into a fit. he has what everyone should have to keep sane. alone time.

i just realized i can make some phone calls i've been needing to make. i love having a phone other than a stupid cell phone.

eta: ha ha, no i can't. it is sunday. i need a calendar near my computer. though i don't have any wall space for it. hmmm.

i think i'll surf craigslist for places to live. see what will be on the rental market a year from now.

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