okay, doc had to finish the last five words of the last entry. i was almost through it without breaking down, but the end of it . . .

anyway. doc said, "we will write it down to get it out, but we will never forget him". and of course we won't. i already have pictures in mind to frame.

i always said i had no favorite, but now that he is gone, i realize how much more a part of my life he was than the other cats. chloe is affectionate and in your face, but she is still distant. they all are. distant, that is. i never realized it so completely.

so now i have written it and shared it and posted it and wept over it.

maybe cats reincarnate. maybe we will find by accident the soul of henry in another cat. maybe. later. much later. it will happen when the time is right.

meantime, time to retrain the others so they are less standoffish. make them my favorites. especially leeloo, she has such capacity for love, and yet is so cold most of the time.