Cydniey Buffers (cydniey) wrote,
Cydniey Buffers
cydniey

why am i still so sad?

i want him back.

so anyway. yeah. doctor who is on.

anyway. there is no anyway. it is all the same. too much death. i can't deal. so i'm not. i'm just sitting and watching tv and not doing anything. i've been sleeping a lot.

i always want to find a reason, and there aren't any real reasons. not for anything. it only really bugs us when it comes to death or loss. then we want the reasons.

i'll light a candle. maybe comfort can be found in ritual if not in belief. because my belief is suffering. when i look for the comfort i once took in the name of diety, there is nothing. not even anger or bitterness. just blank.

and the wondering what is next because it's always something.
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