i want him back.
so anyway. yeah. doctor who is on.
anyway. there is no anyway. it is all the same. too much death. i can't deal. so i'm not. i'm just sitting and watching tv and not doing anything. i've been sleeping a lot.
i always want to find a reason, and there aren't any real reasons. not for anything. it only really bugs us when it comes to death or loss. then we want the reasons.
i'll light a candle. maybe comfort can be found in ritual if not in belief. because my belief is suffering. when i look for the comfort i once took in the name of diety, there is nothing. not even anger or bitterness. just blank.
and the wondering what is next because it's always something.