if i do NANOWRIMO with it i'll have to do a lot of remembering and filling in detail. but that is what the manuscript needs. it really is a chubby outline hung on journal entries. it could be so much more. i just don't know yet if it should be so much more. the story is interesting enough, people write books about it all the time. mental illness sells, baby. but really, it isn't like i plan to fish this out for publication, i'll be publishing it myself.
i just want to get the story out of me and onto the page. but it may be bigger than the one trip to the hospital. maybe i need to go into other visits to hospitals for the same issues. i have journals from other incarcerations. i don't know. i'll have a better idea once i get it back and look over it and the comments and corrections.
i don't want to cloud it. and i need to learn more about ECT so i can tell the story of that properly. i really glossed over it and it is the most important part of the story. and the more time goes by, the more of the story i lose.
i think i'll work on my altered book once i get the spare computer out of here. i need to decide soon if i'm going to do the whole book, or if i'm going to glue a couple hundred pages together and carve out a compartment. i could do that and make it big enough for ATCs (artist's trading cards, art at the size of a playing card). then if i ever sell it i can sell the cards and the book together. that's really the only way i'd sell rather than trade my cards. i could put in the set of 6 cards that piece together to form a journal entry i once wrote in a spiral pattern as i had a breakdown. very cool looking, little verbal substance, i always say the same things when i'm melting.
more imporantly, i need to do something artistic and photoshop has just not been calling to me, i've tried a couple of times, but nothing i saved. i even played with the graphics disks i have. nothing. i lost my inspiration folder and i'm being very slow in rebuilding it. i only belong to a couple of image communities. i usually find things done by my lj friends go well in that folder. a folder i can just look through whenever i need visual stimulation beyond mila jovovich's mostly nakey body from the fifth element.
i guess i need to surf the web in a more visual mindset. everything is video or sound. so few still images. and i need my inspiration kit! i need that folder of things that just struck me to look through.
time to go find those things for a while.