September 15th, 2020

2013, cyd, new

dry hot and dusty as hell

My last surviving grand parent died a couple of weeks ago. Two days to the hour o my Nana's death, my favorite cat, Boo, died in my arms. The grief was paralyzing. I got two big envelopes from my Nana's lawyer, I need to read it and try to make sense of the legalese.

Interesting point, none of my brothers and sisters on the forms. This is all so weird. The wait period to get our inheritance is 10 months. This is the time for my mom to monkey with things, but I don't think she will.

To be honest, which I try to be on here, I could care less about who gets what. It would be nice, but not as nice as hearing my Nana say "I love you" one last time. And now she is gone. Thinking about it literally all the time is not healthy, but I can't help it.

Then there was Boo, I held her as she died. I even tried mouth to mouth because she was fighting for breath. It got me a few more minutes with me, but she died all the same.

It is what it is. I'm not going to get closer to any of my family over this. This is my pain and I'm not sharing it with anyone.

Anyone got a spare 4,000 bucks to get zenweb.net back? I can't get into any of my online accounts on the computer, I have better luck on my phone. I didn't forget to renew it, I just had to let the domains go.

The CA fires have colored our sky yellow. I would write a poem somewhere around the sky and the deaths. But I haven't written anything since I was in the hospital 4 years ago.

Everything is weird, but I'm going toward good right now. I gave into the urge for new clothes. I got a sheared faux fur bomber jacket and a black mini dress, both in black. Retail therapy.I had credit on the site I bought the clothes from, so I got the two items for ten bucks. Pretty cool.

Doc got a new bike for work. I'm thinking of cannibalizing my mountain bike for parts. With the goal of learning to ride again. And, yes you can forget how to ride a bike. The last time I was on one it was in the dark, and rain and I got run off the road to the ditch. I never got on a bike again. But hell, I only have so long to live, I should do all of the living that I can, just in case there is a heaven, I'll have something to talk about.