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2013, cyd, new
cydniey

Dear Diary, Feeling Better, Now

Dear Diary,


Now I have the music on and I’m feeling better. A bunch of things happened today that proved to me just how connected Doc and I are, that it transcends the physical. Just little things, but they have been happening since he left. Just thinking about him makes me smile, again. I told him that.


And he wasn’t going to call tonight, but he did, and at the same time I was looking up buying more minutes for my phone online, he suggested I buy more minutes for my phone so he could keep calling, and he would paypal me more money if I needed it. So, after I get what I need at the store, I’ll see how many minutes I can afford.


It’s funny, the new super-cigarette-stuffer that he got me is harder to use than the cheapo ones, I have to pick it up to cock it, so I can’t just sit down and roll a bunch of smokes. It takes muscles I’ve not used in a long time. So I’m actually only rolling a few at a time, and not smoking as much. Who knew? Doc wants me to either quit or switch over to vaping when he gets home. As I understand it, vaping is like hookah without the pain, but with all the flavor of something else. I’ll give it a try. If they have some kind of coffee flavor. I don’t want anything sweet or fruity. They have shops here dedicated just to vape pens and fillers. Should be interesting.


It’s funny, no matter where I start or shuffle my playlist, this 3 Doors Down song always plays within the first 20 songs. I don’t mind, or I wouldn’t have it on my list, I just think it’s strange. Funny strange.


Doc was telling me about the Kids’ plan to help Mom understand she can’t live alone. She keeps saying how she is going to rattle around the house all alone, and it will be strange having half the groceries and stuff. I just don’t know what to say. Please, Universe, let Doc and I go together.


I finally found the number pad on the new laptop. It is hidden in the alphabet keys. How completely flummoxing. I’ll just stick with the USB keyboard, thank you. I’ll get a cordless with lit keys at some point, but it’s not a priority.


I’ve bought enough materials for a while, I think I’ll make my next purchase equipment. I need the replacement battery pack and recharger for my Sony Mavica so I can start using it. I haven’t yet mastered the macro hack on the Cannons, and I really need to take close-ups of jewelry for the store, and the Mavica is up to it. It has a way better lens set than the Cannons. It came out before DSLRs, it was one of the first digital cameras that tried to be somewhat professionally useful. And it was, I used to use it to report on technology trade shows here in town for a digital journal. I found one review I did the other day. I apparently just saved the one, and didn’t use my photos with it, but the photo that came in the press packet, so not a great resume builder.


The Dog is sleeping on my pillow again. I’m glad I flipped it over to “dog side” before I left it alone. He thinks that pillow is for him, he gets resentful when I kick him off of it to use it. He’s really taking this Alpha not being home thing seriously. Peeing in the house today, what the fuck was that? Three hours after I yelled at him and put him on the patio, he was curled up, but he was still shaking. So I had to hold him and calm him down. Fucking dog. More damn neurotic than I am.


I don’t know what to do with the photo book I made for my father in law. I guess I’ll put it away and when Doc brings his stuff home in a month,  I’ll just put it in with that. I can’t believe I never got to give it to him. It would have meant so much to him that we thought to do it. It was pictures taken by the cats with their collar cam. It’s titled “The Real Las Vegas”. It’s short, 80 or so pictures. Some of it is captioned, but not much, because I wanted him to imagine his own stories to go with the pictures. I don’t think Doc ever thought it was good enough for his dad, somehow. I don’t know. I made it a couple of years ago, and hadn’t been able to send it because Doc always said it wasn’t the right time or holiday. I understand, but it still kind of hurts.


Hmmm . . . I wonder how much it would cost to do a book of cam pictures, they are small, so four or six would fit on a page . . . sleep pictures, I’m really into this Andy Warhol tribute idea, even though I’m not particularly partial to Warhol, his film “Sleep” is genius. I am fascinated by sleeping people, I just don’t know if anyone else is. So, around 1,000 photos, all mixed up. I’d have to go through and blur out the URLs imprinted on the photos, but that’s just part of the process. Maybe I’ll mess with that and get an estimate. Maybe I can auction one off or use it as an incentive for big ticket Patreon subscriptions. I have a feeling the book would cost upwards of $50 to print and totally not be worth it unless I did the whole thing myself in InDesign, and I don’t want to learn another Adobe program. I’m scared enough of Illustrator and Fireworks. InDesign might make my head explode, we don’t know.


So, I have two hours before I want to go to sleep. Should I do SEO? Or should I art? Or should I vacuum and then do one of those? I am so perplexed. I haven’t arted because what I really want to do, finish the jewelry, I can’t do until the cord gets here. So that all is in the middle of my workspace. I could create another workspace on the dropcloth and do that, I have the space. It will just be a soft surface, so, painting or gluing. I could make that platter and see if it turns out as cool as I think it will, or if it will just look horrible with the colors I was forced to use. I’m using up scraps, and I had a bag of small squares of colored card stock from the dollar store a few years ago, so I cut them up using a pair of ragged-edged scissors, into small strips and I plan to make a “confetti” and mod podge platter using them. A “broken glass” sort of thing. “On the Ragged Edge” patyware. If the platter works, I’ll make a chip bowl. I’m all about making bowls.


I forgot to spray paint today. There’s some stuff for the shop that needs to be black. Tomorrow, it’s going to rain. I’ll wait until Monday, I can do it while I’m fixing the studio, so the stuff can dry and come right into the work table. Which reminds me, I need to find a used filing cabinet that is in good shape. I have so much paper and ephemera, it would be nice to file it in categories instead of having it in loosely sorted plastic storage boxes. Plus the house files could really come out of my room and be in a real filing cabinet, instead of that dumb plastic file box they are in that is completely inadequate for being full of paper.


Enough talk, time for action, this will not be a wasted day.


2013, cyd, new
cydniey

Dear Diary, Guess I Should Make a Real Entry

Dear Diary,


It doesn’t look like I will be going to the store before Doc gets home, but I really don’t need to. There is nothing I really need dear Diary. And little that I want. So I bought minutes with some of my money today. Instead of 90 minutes for #25, I got 300 for $25. And my texts are now unlimited, so text away. My only limitation is my ability to hit the same key over the right number of times.


Doc’s worst days are ahead of him in the next 48 hours. His mom will be told about the plan to care for her, the service will be held, and he will continue to have to listen to what a rotten child his mother told everyone he was and how surprised people are that he’s not in jail or he came home. I feel so bad for him. It’s been two days of that already. At least his big brother is now in town, so he has someone to pal around with, and his sister will be back tomorrow to help with his mom, who is just getting meaner as time wears on and the shock wears off. She wants everyone out of her house so she can live her life. She wants the attic emptied so she doesn’t have to get someone to go up there and get stuff for her, and a bunch of other things that dad meant to do but never got a chance, and will be taken care of while they are closing up the house and preparing it for sale, but they can’t tell her that. I can’t even begin to imagine what he is going through. His texts today have been erratic and argumentative. I’ve kept it simple.


He texted a rant earlier while I was out and I can’t text and walk Chewy at the same time, so I just left it until I got back. Of course, when I answered, he was busy and couldn’t answer me back. And the post man yesterday was so incredibly insensitive. “I got your dad right here!” and hands Doc a box to sign for. Dad’s cremains. The good news is that the post office has someone special to deliver your loved one’s cremains, the bad news is that it may be some tactless oaf with a horrid sense of humor.


I vacuumed the hell out of this rug today. I took the hose and got all the corners and edges; I took the brush thingy and did the furniture. I cleaned off the coffee table and brought in the laundry before it blew away and folded it and put it away. The house is clean. Now to organize.


Beyond sketching out concepts and taking copious notes, I haven’t done much arting. I’ve been working on the site, which is hard because it loads so slow. Lilliane has offered to work with me page by page, element by element to see if we can speed it up. I don’t know if it’s the plugins, or backgrounds, or font, or what. I do know that if you aren’t viewing it in Chrome, it looks like shit, but that can’t be helped. The others just don’t have the font options. It’s too bad, really. I’ve worked really hard on it in Chrome.


I optimized my first page today. The irony being, I used a keyword set that will never be used by my “target” audience, when I decide what that is; and did it on a page that doesn’t work yet. Just because I was editing the page, anyway. I have to figure out how to use more than one keyword set per page. Per post, one is fine. The Dear Diary jazz will get in an audience looking for diaries and journals. That is what I want. I just haven’t figured out what I want for the rest of the site. I have no target audience in mind. All I can think of is “people who get me”. Kind of hard to narrow it down without a psych test on the way in.


Wish me luck, I am forced to shop at amazon.com. No discounts, no cash back. But they are the ONLY ones on the web that have what I need within my price range. I have no other alternative. They, however have many, so I need to go comparison shop for the best deal. Oy.


Done. Under $20 for exactly what I wanted, the colors, quantities and price. Under $20 including shipping which leaves me plenty of money for H’s beer, if he ever shows up, and some groceries, if I need anything. And Doc doesn’t even have to send me any money. Yeah, I can budget. I didn’t approve the purchase with him, but when I have a few dollars to spend on materials, I need to do it then, when I find the sale, or the deal, or the chance to get stuff that sells out, all too often. It has taken me a month to find a pack with just the right colors and none extra, in decent quantities to make it worth it. Once I found it tonight, after really looking deep, I had to buy it without the asking permission process. From now on, when I have discretionary money, I am spending it on what I want. I still regret not pushing for those $16 jeans. I’ve found nothing comparable since. I should have just ordered them, we had the $20 to cover it.


It’s cool, things are going to change. I’m going to start bringing in small but steady amounts of money that I can then turn around and put back into materials, after I take 20% out for the charity I am creating, and 8% for taxes. Which reminds me that I have to include that in the receipt equation. Make sure I always charge and then save taxes. I’m going to stash them in my savings account because I never touch that and because I can transfer from paypal to checking to savings without a lot of problems. It’s all in Doc’s name, because of the banking and the paypal, dear Diary. Though I will declare all income above $500 per month to Social Security. I don’t want to break any rules. I think the threshold is a couple hundred dollars higher now, but I’m not taking any chances. Yes, I am putting a lot of faith and hope and dreams into the PRH Shop, I’m not doing this half assed, like most of the stuff I do. The hardest part now that the inventory is almost done, is the SEO. Really, I don’t know where to start with keywords and phrases. I have so many, and I need to pepper the site with them.


I also have to make a logo, and ads to display on site, and set up the Etsy site. Oy! Today is a day for saying that.


dear diary Sapporo, JapanThe Link: This is a place where Doc went with his dad to see relatives, shortly before we met. The mountains used to be key Cold War strategic nuke facilities secretly hidden underneath. I’ve heard some really cool stories over the last week. Some day, I hope I can share them with you and everyone. The stories need to be told. The place is Sapporo, Japan. Even without the espionage history, it is a beautiful place and the mountains are gorgeous. They even have a tram line. And the city is large, but still quaint in its architecture. Japan is a really beautiful country. It’s too bad when American movies get made about it, it’s about the Suicide Forrest and not all of the wonders.