March 4th, 2016

2013, cyd, new

Dear Dairy, Day Two Without Him

Dear Diary,

It’s day two and I’m feeling pretty good again, like yesterday. I didn’t do anything but sleep and feed the animals and myself yesterday, though. Today I wanted to take a shower . . . but I have to wait for H to be around so he can guard the door. So I at least washed my hair in the tub. I’m waiting for it to dry so I can straighten it. That is a very good sign.

I also sewed up  the shredded pants I’m wearing. I got out some embroidery floss and a needle and sat here and stitched them up while I was wearing them. Very colorful. The right leg was open to my ankle. That happened a few days ago, we have these medieval and dangerous pulls on the cupboards that grab loose clothes. That’s what happened to my favorite sleeveless flannel. In fact, I think I will sew that up today and wash it. I have to do laundry and rinse out the shirts that are brining. Hopefully I didn’t leave them in too long, and they don’t disintegrate. Though I will admit that I used three of my least favorite shirts to try the technique out, so I didn’t lose anything if I fucked it up.

It took me a full day to realize that Doc took the spare TV out of here so I have room to work until I get my studio set back up. Which I am doing while he is gone.

There’s still a big, black computer monitor in here, next to the couch, but that is its permanent home. I’m planning to empty it out and upholster the inside for the cats and dog to curl up in. It’s big enough to hold three cats, curled up. I’m hoping it fosters more socialization between the factions. After I upholster it, I’m going to glue the toys they don’t play with onto the outside and paint something clever like “Animal Cavern”, or “Animal Monitor” on it. Another project I will do without Doc home, because he will freak when he sees the technique I’m going to use to remove the tube. I’ve read and watched several tutorials, and it is the safest way for a housewifey to do it, it just may waste a bar towel. But not if I do it carefully, and if I do, I will have something ultra cool for a future sculpture.

I want to make paper beads. I found several designs, and many ways of embellishing them. There are actually websites devoted to paper beads. I have SO-O-O-O much scrap paper of all weights and colors and texts. I found a jar of beads I made out of a Chinese newspaper. Those will make a nice bracelet or choker, if I can find the right . . . never mind, I have the perfect glass pendant to go with them. Rad. Okay, just sketched it, so I don’t lose the idea. And I am pretty sure it is a design that I already have all the materials for. So that goes on the “active inventory building” list.

And this sketching thing is working out really nicely. I’ve already saved three, two of which I would have lost, and the new one. I can’t draw well, and no one can see what I’m talking about when looking at the sketches and notes, but I can look right at it and know what I was thinking. I found superglue in the junk drawer yesterday and will the help of sheer will and a small pair of pliers, got it open. So I can attach the findings of the set I made two weeks ago that are now cured, and make something of them. Still waiting on that back ordered silk. I’m going to order more just as soon as I get it. I have all 25 yards pretty much spoken for right now. Maybe I should look for another source of it. I’m not paying full price for my doctor’s appointment because after Robin left, the girls fucked up my insurance and I’m not waiting for them to fix it today. I will pay my out-of-network co-pay of $35 and tell them to talk to Doc about the rest. I may also explain that you don’t call a paranoid schizophrenic the day before a crucial appointment and leave a message that there is a problem with her insurance. WRONG. That was a freakout I didn’t need last night.

Bottom line, I will have enough to buy silk cord from another source, if I can just get a hold of it. Watch, there’s an American shortage right now or something. No, I just ordered 70 more yards, and it will be here in three days. I’m not really concerned with paying a couple more dollars retail, as the pendants are mostly upcycled, and the beads mostly in stock. Whatever I’m imagining that I am lacking, I will use an alternative. I found some delightful little speckled cream stone ball beads I picked up somewhere. Those will look nice with a paper bead necklace as spacers between the paper beads. And I can speckle the paper beads with black micro glitter, which would be cool.

Is anyone familiar with I used to post there often but haven’t for several years and it seems to have changed hands. I’m wondering if it is still okay to solicit material trades on the craft boards. I need quilt fabric scraps of all sizes and paper scraps at least 3″ long. And the rules are not specific, and I HATE getting in trouble and being scolded. Especially online. So, if you know, let me know, please?


2013, cyd, new

Dear Diary, Back from the Doctor

Dear Diary,

Thanks a million times to Lilliane, who got me to my doctor’s appointment. He’s goingt o sign Doc’s FMLA paperwork, but he’s not happy about it and I got a rather stringent lecture. And I was right, Robin is truly gone. But the billing lady didn’t give me any shit about whatever that call was about last night. I paid what I normally pay, and I still have money for groceries. And I don’t have to go back until the sting of today’s scolding wears off.

To celebrate leaving the house by myself and going far from home, I had a packet of mini eclairs. Now I’m debating a nap. I only got two hours sleep last night, and it is past my naptime, but I’m not in the least bit tired. I’m actually kind of high strung right now. It may be time to do the dishes.

Okay, dishes done, living room clean, just needs to be vacuumed. I’ll do that after the cats are done with their afternoon naps.

Let’s focus on the positive, dear Diary. Today I went far away from my house, alone. I got into cars with strangers (Uber), I did not freak out when one driver took the freeway, I did what I set out to accomplish, and then I actually called Doc’s friend on the phone, live. So, there’s all that. And that ain’t nothin’.

I still haven’t napped. Still don’t want to. I want to clean the litter boxes, but I have to wait until tomorrow. Maybe I’ll just clean out two of them, and wash them out and start over tomorrow when I get the litter with H. And I found out the reason H is actually in town for the weekend, and it isn’t NASCAR. His family came down to see him. He’s taking me out in the wee hours while they sleep. Said he’d call me in the morning, that’s between 3-5. Then he can only hang out for a little while, which sucks, because he is so funny. At least I will be able to take a full shower. YAY! Yay, me, for wanting to take a shower in the first place.

I’m going to art tonight. I’m going to watch Archer and art. Then I’m going to listen to music and art some more. Then I’m going to walk the dog in the middle of the night with a legal knife. Then I’m going to go get cat litter, sugar, a Magic Eraser, and a bottle of Cola. Then I’m going to take a shower. Then I’m going to sleep for EVER.

I’m ready for the wind and the rain tomorrow. I will do the laundry tomorrow night after the wind dies down so I can hang the clothes up to dry without them blowing away. whoosh I’m washing every towel I can find. Doc is always so clean, his towels don’t get visibly dirty or smelly, so he doesn’t think to wash them.

Hey, maybe I’ll get some hair bleach and take care of my roots tomorrow. It’s expensive, but my needs are few. And it would be a nice surprise for Doc. He likes me pure blonde.

I just sent Doc a smooshy text. I hope he takes it right, I was just thinking of him and feeling smooshy, I would cuddle the stuffing out of him if he were here. I did a lot of that before he left. We kept asking each other for hugs. Yes – we ask each other before we hug. We are not demonstrative people and both of us hate to be touched. Awwe, he sent a smooshy text back.

We’ve been so happy with me on Latuda. My attitude and persecution complex have completely turned around. We’ve been getting along, not having the stupid misunderstandings any more. It’s taking work, we back slide, old habits and such, but for the most part, before this happened, for about three weeks, the “honeymoon” phase was going strong again. Not all the icky sex stuff, but the other stuff, the enjoying each other’s company. It’s been like that. So we actually miss each other right now, instead of being glad to be apart, like we would have been a month ago. I’m so happy.

I’m going to go vacuum and then art. I have to art on the living room floor until I rebuild my studio this weekend while it rains, so the floor may as well be clean to start with. Then I can fuck it all up with paper scraps and such.