December 15th, 2015

2013, cyd, new

It's Been Two Weeks

Since I poisoned myself with cable news. I haven’t read Twitter. I haven’t read Facebook. No headlines. I watch the local news at quarter after to see the weather. I literally have no idea what is going on in the world. And I’m happy. Like I told Kelli, fuck it, I don’t have to live in this world. I can choose my own reality. I’m done with America for now. Let them come to their senses, then I’ll be back.

I’m fed. I’m medicated. I fell much better. I get really, more than anything, confused. I hear things, and see things, and the paranoia is rampant. And that confuses me because what I know is trying to fire with the ideas that I am having.

Like, I told Doc I knew he was trying to break me. So he could put me away for life. And I said so many hateful things to him, blaming him for the ills of my life, even comparing him to my dad at some point. Doc is not doing well. The pitfalls of caregivers that you love. Everybody hurts.