November 17th, 2015

2013, cyd, new

I Promised Doc

I promised Doc that I would be asleep by 11 at the latest. Fully medicated and asleep. I had a little “fall-apart” tonight, and Doc insists that I not add sleep deprivation to whatever cognitive issues I am having. He asked today, what treats the cognitive symptoms? I couldn’t help but laugh. Nothing! They have nothing that treats the cognitive symptoms effectively. They have new-agey things that have temporary effects on cognitive symptoms, but I already do art therapy. I do writing therapy. Occupational therapy, I take care of the house. I don’t need to spend a bunch of hours contemplating my toenails. I need to do things. And if I remember them later, all the better.

It’s ten. I think I’ll take my meds and watch TV until LL Cool J becomes a foursome. That’s when I know the meds are working.

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2013, cyd, new

I am not sick - Day 3

I’m just waiting for the Sudafed to kick in. I took it with my morning meds. Quite a colorful handful of pills this morning. I’m afraid that many of them clashed with others. Not at all aesthetically pleasing.

I left myself a full pot of coffee and no cigarettes when I went to bed last night, what the ever loving hell was I thinking? Making coffee is far less challenging than stuffing cigarettes. I can do it with the double vision I wake up with. Cigarettes? Not so much.

Chewbacca wants me to take him outside. HA! Maybe I should put his hoodie on him and let him go out for a run. But I am not going out there. Mid 40’s, kids. I’m not willing to test the cold-sensitive side effect of the Latuda. No desire to push that limit at all.

The deadline is up for the Xmas card sign up. Time to start working on them. I sussed out that the dry erase markers react the same to the catalyst as the Sharpies do, so I have a whole new rainbow to work with. I’m really excited to do this.

I also have to clean up and organize my temporary studio on the living room floor. It is bugging Doc. And I want to show him that I consider his feelings and do something to help them. He needs to know that and the only thing he believes are actions. He has a particular hatred of words and promises.

I am still not sick, but if I were, this would feel like day three of the flu.

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