May 28th, 2015

2013, cyd, new

Higher heads prevailing . . .

I don't know how I was even entertaining the below idea after finding out he had an online presence. That was a giant sheet metal stop sign attached to a thick ass brick wall. It was originally conceived (no pun intended), as a small part of a larger open letter to the GOP. But I don't need to out him to make the same impact with my story. I have some peace of mind knowing he is nowhere near me, and he really is the person I remember him being. That those parts went delusion because I wasn't getting treatment at the time. That he really is a sociopath and really did take repeated advantage of my illness and my upbringing, he's still lying to everyone, and so poorly I can wander n and tear it apart with what little I really do know about him. That's fine. Nigel is safe from him. If there is any justice in this Universe, he wasn't damaged by being brought up by mormons and having such a dismal gene pool.

Was that all one sentence? Sorry. We were endowed with medical grade produce. After six months of our watered down version. And I just did ten hours of work in five (I swear I am not on speed, I know I kid about it, but no, I gave that up in college) and ultimately got Clammr releases queued up through the 1st. I would go on social media and apologize for the Soundcloud link explosions, but fuck 'em, I did it late at night so as not to mess with anyone's vibe. And I got 22 listens to several pieces over 3 hours. For me, that is not bad at all. I have 1 follower on Soundcoud. In over a year. Yep, I've needed to pay more attention to this for long time.

There, I did it again, I have to stop writing right now. And I am not reading any more facebook or twitter because news tonight. We are watching Graham Norton re-runs on BBCAmerica. He has no clue what's going on, and, seeing how nothing is going on here except me letting go of some baggage by the side of the road, Doc doesn't need to kow. It would hurt him deeply to know that I was "torturing" myself, as he would call it, and I don't want to hurt him deeply. I can do this on my own and with a little help from Kelli tomorrow, when I will call her and confess all.
2013, cyd, new

My tweets

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2013, cyd, new

This will be new and fun.

I'm 10% through WordPress for Dummies. There are two or three sections I can actually skip.

So, Doc called in a few favors. And people let him down straight after. And then yesterday evening, most of them made it up to him. Four different strains. One dark green indica that I'm making Doc hide. And then three lighter hybrid strains. All medical grade. All from card holders. More than we needed or wanted. Most of it will be put away. It's about 6-8 weeks until we harvest and cure and trim. So, I take back the jerks thing. They're just slow.

I really just want to sit outside and chain smoke and drink overly sweet coffee. But two houses adjoined are having pool parties, and I don't feel alone or at peace out there right now.

I didn't talk to Kelli today. I stayed up all night with Doc. Rubbing his shoulder for him, and helping him stretch it. And, thus, slept with Seroquel all day. And still managed to spam both Twitter and Facebook, to no good end. No more hits to Soundcloud after late last night's original posting. AND STILL NO ONE COMMENTS! Feedback, people! I need feedback! The silence is driving me mad! I am cross-promoting on so many platforms, that I really have no idea where the plays of my pieces are coming from.

I'm not yelling at you. I'm yelling at the 1,000+ people that are exposed to my other social media posts. I don't know what my exposure on Clammr is, they don't yet offer stats. I get sudden spikes in my website traffic, with no clue where it comes from. Those are rare, but they intrigue me.

Boomer has taken up residence on my desk chair. When she can't be in my lap, and she's not hiding under the couch from Freddie or Teeny, she is on the office chair. And Simon is behind me, wrapping his back paws and legs up in my hair. This will be new and fun. Now I just have to not scare him, he's jumpy.

I'm still off the news. I confess, I do glance at headlines, sometimes. But I don't click through to stories, or read comments on FB. But, no news on TV. I'm kind of too busy to watch TV, it's all about what is on in the background. I've been watching a lot of the Disney Channel, or rather, absorbing it as I work.

And I've seen "Maleficent" around 10 times now. I can't get enough of that movie. I'm waiting on "Into the Woods", both the Broadway version with Bernadette Peters, and the film version with Meryl Streep from Netflix. I saw it on Broadway, completely amazing. I wasn't going to see the film version, but then I saw a lengthy clip of Streep as the Hag singing one of my favorite songs from the play, I knew I had to see it and give her fair time and consideration.

Doc has a beach towel down so his road rash doesn't seep onto the cream colored damask couch, and every night when he leaves, if I don't fold it up and stack it with his blanket and pillow, Chewy gathers it all up in the corner in a nest and buries himself in the center of it until just the tip of his nose sticks out. We have nesting. Transfeline. That's my (former) dog. I wonder if he wants to be called a "dat" or a "cog".

Okay, one more cigarette, people seem to have gone inside. Then more reading. Tomorrow is Friday, right? Okay then. I can sleep at any time without worrying about having to wake Doc up. Cool.