March 30th, 2015

2013, cyd, new

My tweets

2013, cyd, new

Schizophrenics Anonymous II

It's been almost 24 hours and I am still bent about this Schizophrenics Anonymous bullshit. And this time I'm not just bothered by a lack of feedback on this, I'm fucking pissed. I cannot be the only person who feels this way. I cannot be the only person who sees how wrong and possibly debilitating this is. And how insanely stigmatizing. I am infuriated.

The addiction issues I had that sent me to rehab four years ago were NOTHING to do with my schizophrenia. In fact, I had a rehab doctor and a psych doctor to deal with the two SEPARATE issues while in rehab. In rehab I was in AA. Never was it suggested that I apply the steps to my schizophrenia. Either by my doctors or my AA counselors. Seeing a pattern? Two things, not the same. One approach for the addiction, another, completely different approach for the schizophrenia.

And if they had tried to treat it all as one thing? I would have signed myself out of there, post haste.

Can you imagine calling up your entire high school senior drama class and saying, "I'm sorry I finished my final monologue with a graphic display of my recently slashed and unbandadged wrists"? How would I even go about that? How many would remember? How many need to? Jesus. And that's just the start. There's two trips to college and two other high schools that I traumatized. Then there's the next 25 years. Fuck that noise. Apologizing will not make anyone "feel" better. And it won't back my symptoms off.

And nowhere in the literature I'm reading, do I find emphasis on medication compliance, which should be rule 1 with schizophrenia. Or, in fact, mention of medication at all. And it makes me wonder if they are forgoing the meds in favor of this support group, which makes them not only belittling and insulting, but dangerous.

Can I get a fucking AMEN?

I will gladly acknowledge that AA and NA have and will continue to help and save the lives of a hell of a lot of people. A lot of people are wired that way. And it's a good thing that AA came along to help those addicts.

But schizophrenia is a mental, let's call it, disease, ailment, illness, sickness, genetic anomaly. There is no OCD Anonymous, the very idea is ludicrous. As it should be here. I can't control my hallucinations any more than someone afflicted with OCD can control their thoughts when in the clutches of their illness. The 12 step model is NOT appropriate for mental illness. It just adds negative stigma that the symptoms that we experience, including the cognitive symptoms that medication does not treat, are ultimately under our conscious control. That is wrong, and it is sick.