February 22nd, 2015

2013, cyd, new

I'm so confused

Everything has been topsy turvy this weekend. First, Doc had Thursday night off as well as Fri, and Sat. So all day Fri, I thought it was Sat. I got a grip on Sat, and I woke up fairly certain that this was Sunday. Only problem, I remember Doc having a Very Firm Talk with me yesterday about getting him to bed by noon each day, to make sure he has enough time for the sleeper meds to wear off.

I got up at 8:30. Had donuts and coffee. Had a couple of cigarettes. Then tried to wake him, he said he'd just lay down and the alarm on his phone was set. It is now 10:30. If he woke up now, he would have to take his meds straight away, and then make something to eat in a hurry and then going back to bed. With no time to do anything. So I don't know what to do.

Oh, and the TV is off, so I guess that's out as an entertainment option today.

There was a HUGE cat fight between Simon and Vader last night. There are pieces of them all over the hall and my bedroom. I took a picture, but it just doesn't do it justice, so I think I'm going to make a short video of it. The vacuum is going to wrap its cord around my neck and suck my brains out for this mess. And it was especially built to deal with pet hair.

It is a dreary, Pittsburgh grey day. If you've never spent Sunday in Pittsburgh, you just won't get it. It's a special kind of gloom It's snowing up on Mt. Charlston today. We just get clouds. They aren't calling for rain, just wind. So, gloomy valley and snowy mountain

The other night, in memory of Rebel's coach Jerry Tarkanian's recent passing, the strip and Fremont St. dimmed their lights. And a Vegas account snarked at the High Roller (World's largest ferris wheel) for not going dim. The High Roller (because of course it has to have its own Twitter account) snarked back that they could't go dim according to the FAA, because incoming planes needed to be able to see it before they crash into it. It was hilarious. Twitter is fun sometimes.

I think I'll have some cereal.
2013, cyd, new

My tweets

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2013, cyd, new

Let's Hear It For Pinterest

If these mother fuckers on twitter would just retweet my fucking tweet: "http://www.fabulousdisaster.com/writing/ explains how you can participate in a #mentalhealth #art installation, no $$ needed.", I might be in a better mood. I might be getting some kind of participation on this fucking project. My funding for it just disappeared, so there really is no rush, but still, I'm not speaking to an empty room, I'm speaking, with a plugged in mic, in a very crowded room. And not one person in one group that I have supported, not one person who's blog or photos or art or poetry I have promoted can be bothered to click on a rather pedestrian little icon. Yes, it really does bother me. It really, really does. To the point where I stopped retweeting people about a week ago, and now I'm just unfollowing the people I have retweeted that won't retweet me. I don't care how many followers I have. They won't interact with me, so they serve no point, this is social media.

Except for the political group. They retweet my political tweets, which are always just links to articles I have read. That's it. There's more to me than strong politics. My art isn't about politics right now. So many other people are doing that so much better than I can.

I'm going with what I know. Word play and fancy.

I'll put up the short short video of the carnage from the Ultimate Cat Fight 2015 tomorrow. The vacuum actually survived and sucked up all the fur, I was amazed. I'm pretty sure that Simon has a "Fur Release Button" that goes off when he gets in a fight, because there is always so much of him left over any altercation.

And now Freddie is pissing with Boomer. Even Teeny leaves Boomer alone now, but for some reason, Freddie, who's only issue until now was Simon and they were both feral in the same territory together, so I'm guessing it's a long-standing feud, has decided she wants to be where Boomer is. She wants to eat when Boomer eats. She wants what Boomer has. She's being a real pain in the ass. She chases and stalks Boomer. And Boomer hides because of it. Which isn't nice. I don't want a hidey cat.

Our week is off to a good start. Doc got off to work on time. So far as I know. He took the truck because it is raining.

My phone is still dead because of Major's snacking habits. Doc and I go in circles about it. He says, look on the web site and see what you can do about it. And then I say, all they do is give you a 800 number to call. And then he says, well, that's ironic. And then it's over for the day. Then we have the exact same round conversation the next day. So, do I use his phone to call the 800 number? Or do we just keep having this conversation? I'm insane, I'm no good judge.

I've stopped reaching out to Mental Health Twitter. It is very cult like. You have to play by their rules. No stigmatizing words, which I use constantly. You have to be oversensitive, yet have the rhetoric of a social justice warrior. Must also be easily offended and keep only to their own. When someone new does not fit in, they do not address the issue, they just close ranks, shutting the newcomer out.

Okay, hands up, who has time for that shit? Right, you're all sitting on your hands. I'm not looking for a bunch of god/christ loving mid-western housewives with bipolar to give me virtual hugs when I'm not feeling well. That won't make me feel at all better. I need Kelli or Doc to make sure I'm properly medicated, tell me to snap out of it, and give me something I like to eat. With me, that works. I have to be brought out of myself. But god forbid you suggest telling someone to snap out of it. It is verboten. But sometimes it is the right thing, the needed thing. Not always, and not all people can handle it, I admit that. I know that. But if it works for me, don't you dare shame me for it.

Whatever makes me better and makes me cope and lets me pass as a "normal" human being, don't you dare shame me for that. And it's all bipolar, ADHD, and anxiety. I have anxiety, but it really is the least of my problems.

I'm thinking less time on Twitter and more time on Pinterest is what I need right now and for the rest of the month/year/decade.