July 6th, 2014

2013, cyd, new

and here i present it to you.

my sleeper got me to 2:30am. now i'm up listening to music and doc is asleep. i just blew my nose and woke him up, oops. there, he went back to sleep.

the music is really on tonight. the playlist has chosen well for me. 10,000 Maniac's "Headstrong", then the Blue Nile's "Tinseltown in the Rain". it is a good night. if i had kids, i wonder if they would hate my music or secretly love it, as i did with my mom's Carol King record. I would never have told her, but those songs got into my soul. I still listen to "Tapestry".

"All this talking is merely bravado" - "Tinseltown in the Rain", Blue Nile

I think i write that quote down every time i hear it. i love that line and consistently forget about it when i don't hear it. part of the power of the line is the way that he sings it, but i can't put that here.

i'm going to try to keep my music on today as doc plays on the computer. he doesn't use the sound for anything. and i could put some Mozart on and curl up and go to sleep.

my pipe is so new it keeps choking me, and i'm feet from doc, i can't cough. much. and if i wake him up just a little with coughing, he will automatically say, "Put the bowl down." in his sleep.

he didn't remember any of the dreams i told him he talked through. he did say it wasn't the best sleep. i guess not. i've only heard him talk clearly in his sleep once before and that was many years ago.

oh, now David Bowie's "Heroes". the play list pulled from the never played pile. i have 593 songs on this particular music list. all of my favorites.

no, i really have nothing to say. of use. or import. or status. just late night ramblings. it makes me feel less alone.

think about it, all the people you run into in a day. all the little interactions you have. all the little social moments that make up a typical day. a "hello" from a cashier, small talk from a co-worker, a chat with a neighbor. all the little things, think about it for a moment. I don't get any of that. my social interaction is limited to doc and kelli. that's it. an average day, i say maybe 5 words.

i'm not saying this for pity, not at all. i've chosen to live this misanthropic way. it's just that when you think about it, no human contact is a hard thing to accomplish. even the calls i get are computers. you would think it lonely and isolating. but when you consider the hallucinations and voices in my head, it gets very loud in here. to me, at least.

if you're keeping up, or trying, i just heard When in Rome's "The Promise", and now it's Kim Wilde's "Cambodia". You'll probably recognize "The Promise" if you were conscious in the 80's. You just don't know it because the band was utterly forgettable. but if you went into a dance club in the 80's, you've heard it.

Perfect, now Gaga's "Fashion". Gotta throw something modern in there every so often. and there is precious little new stuff on here. David Bowie, from "The Next Day"; Beyonce from "Beyonce"; and Gaga from "Artpop". oh, and the Florence and the Machine stuff is new-ish. only a few years old. I made room for more new stuff, but i haven't found anything else i like. doc's got some good stuff i should add. that "Chicken Bones" song I told you about. some Walk Off the Earth and Pamplamoose songs that i've gotten really into.

Sir David Attenborough. that's the narrator of the BBC America nature shows. Love his body of work. Love the man. Love what he does. His voice makes me homicidal. he reminds me of a patronizing head master i had when i was younger. the shows themselves are magnificent and he does a great job describing the happenings of what is going on and factoids and such. i recommend his shows to anyone who is interested in nature.

Now it's Robbie Robertson's . . . this is going to take a second . . . i won't look, i will figure out what the name of this song is . . . oh yeah, Peter Gabriel sings on this song, too. "Fallen Angel", Gabriel just sang it. Okay. I have another Robertson song that Bono sings on, magnificent. and yes, for the old timers, this is the same Robbie Robertson from The Band. Doc turned me on to it when we met. He also took me to see The Band on our first New Year's Eve, without Robertson, of course, he wouldn't perform with them anymore then. I don't know about now. I don't even know how many members are still alive.

Okay, total mood/era change. Marc Almond, "Tears Run Rings". wow. sudden mood change.

most of this stuff, if you're curious, is on youtube. i, of course, think it all bears review and listening. if just once. what i should do is make playlists of journal entry music and post the link with the post. wow. that would take a lot of time for a spontaneous journal entry.

my coffee is cold, and it's time for a cigarette. Listen to "Burn this City" by Franz Ferdinand while i'm gone.

I told you i broke a tooth, yes? Doc got me a case of Ensure today for me to consume because we don't know when i'm going to be able to have it fixed. Monday I look into getting Medicaid. Then I can get my teeth fixed. They will likely rip them all out and just sell me a full set of dentures. i don't want that day to come.

The Go-gos: "Head Over Heels". Great bass work by Jane on this one.

Now I laugh. Depeche Mode: "I Just Can't Get Enough". We used to sing, "Just can't get it up." Yeah, we were mature like that. Depeche Mode, of course, also the artists behind "Personal Cheez-whiz". Between mangling their songs and Martin's hair, that band kept me laughing all through the 80's.

I think i'll put the collar cam on Evie tomorrow. I want to see these houses she's whoring around at. not inside, but i want to see how far she wanders to be in these houses. one is only two houses away, that one we know about. but doc saw her around the corner sitting in someone's window one day.

if you've read this far, congratulations. points. hell, bonus points. i just spent an hour writing nothing at all. and here i present it to you.
2013, cyd, new

this should be fun.

I finally got the camera strapped on Evie and turned on and set up. then i set her free. she was off, across the yard and up the wall and into the palm tree.

i can't wait to get the pictures back. i know she won't be back until after sundown. this should be fun.
2013, cyd, new

that would suck.

no music today. the voices are really loud and rowdy and i just took a seroquel to see if it would knock me out and put a stop to this. i was planning on asking for more anti-psychotic, anyway, this just solidifies it. i made doc stay home, and we really can't afford that. he's asleep right now and i'm watching NCIS, USA has come to their senses and started playing it again.

i harvested basil last night. it was flowering. i watched a few videos on how to do it before i went hacking at the plant. but i'm pretty sure i did it right. we'll see if it continues to grow or dies. i gave it extra water today. and did the same with the lantana out back. i think the ones out front are dead. i did poorly with them. they are guaranteed for a year, so i'll find my Lowe's card and go get something else that needs less water and can handle more sun.

i switched from coffee to soda to help me sleep. the coffee was good. i went out of the house for an hour in the heat and doc ran vinegar through the coffee maker. chunks came out (dear god, i originally typed "chinks"). it's typos like that on twitter that will make you famous. or infamous. on twitter. which isn't real.

anyway.

the sun is trying to fight through the clouds. it may rain again after dark. it got up to 102 today, that's what it is right now. but the humidity is well above the usual 10-14%. it is not comfortable.

i have to go stuff cigarettes before i fall asleep. or i won't have any when i wake up. that would suck.