June 6th, 2014

2013, cyd, new

some declarations

There should be no such thing as jumping spiders. 8 legs is enough, jumping is not needed. There should be a jumping spider plague.

I hate when gnats get into my coffee. On a related note, we have a gnat problem.

lelu needs to be brushed. i petted her today and so much fur came off, it was sad.

okay, enough declarations. i think. i may think of more. i'm feeling demanding tonight. i'm feeling something. the alarm woke me up, which is never a good thing, and once again, my last thought before waking up to it was that it was my parent's alarm and i had to get rid of it. so i woke up in a full on anxiety attack, because if my parent's alarm is going off, then i'm in their house. and life is not what i think. and this is what i wake up with. freaking out over it.

so i took one of my precious xanax and i'm waiting it out. doc has gone to work. he starts his new schedule on sunday, 9 to 5:30. that's going to fuck my schedule all up. he's prepared for it to fuck his up, i'm not.

it's nice outside. if we had the futons set up, i would totally brave the spiders and sleep out there. it's that nice. it will get chillier in the morning, but i could take a blanket. we've got to get that futon set up. that will happen eventually. when we have the money to spend. doc worked a bunch of overtime and we're using all the money to pay up our bills current.

i'm waiting for the dog to get home so i can go back to sleep. i don't know whether to put my movie on or not. i guess i will. it's better than infomercials waking me up. and i'm still learning Romanian watching it with the subtitles. some things aren't as fun to say, some things are more fun.
2013, cyd, new

it's very frustrating.

an hour and a half to get my head together this morning. only two cigarettes, though. and no coffee. cola. and ice water. that kind of goes without saying. i always have ice water with me.

i went out at dawn to get photos of the truck like doc wanted. only to discover he took the truck to work last night. duh. it was shortly after that i pulled my sleepy head out of my ass and woke up.

one of the legs of my new jeans is two inches longer than the other leg. it's silly looking because i have to cuff them as they are too long.

i woke up at 4:40. that was after waking up at 3 and saying "fuck that". at 4:30 i was obsessed with being up for sunrise and truck pictures. so instead of going back to bed, the smart thing, i stayed up for nothing.

heat watches offiicially in place for this weekend. hot hot hot. fuck that, i'll be inside, thank you kindly. keep the animals in. keep ice water outside for the stray cats.

i overdosed on poetry. i still haven't been able to go back to allpoetry.com. i clearly overdid it at the beginning of the year there. i may go back some time. i have this fear of the negativity of the people on there. i don't want to deal with it. so i won't. and i won't worry about it anymore.

three and a half more hours until doc gets home. he'll come right home because he's in the truck. he only runs errands on the scooter. oh, wait, he's getting water and gas. forgot about that. it's on the way home.

why are my nails always dirty? i clean them and ten minutes later, they are dirty again. it's very frustrating.
2013, cyd, new

he's in charge of the cleaners.

the glare is on the laptop and the TV. i have my head twisted and bent to see to type. it's a beautiful day. i watered and checked my plants. the cilantro may be a lost cause. and the oregano seeds keep drying out. i move it into the shade, i water it twice a day, i don't know what else to do.

i moved the cat grass over to the food dish and water. hopefully they will munch on it and it will make their tummies feel better. the stray cats can't be without digestive issues, they eat so rarely. brown cat is really skinny, too skinny. though Brian Setzer, as you've seen, is quite a substantial cat.

the tomato plants are growing nicely, they will need their cages in a few weeks. the pepper plant is doing well, too. it has a couple of spotted leaves, but only two.

i haven't taken any pictures in a week. i've had the cameras put away in their case, in fact, for the last week. i need to photograph the plants.

i need to bring my paints in from the garage before they get heat damaged. i have a place in my room that is nice and cool that i can use.

the studio has furniture and bikes piled up in it right now because doc won't clean his side of the garage so we can store stuff over there.

wow, in the sunlight, this screen is really dirty. i wonder if we have any window cleaner without alcohol in it. i'll check with doc when he gets home, he's in charge of the cleaners.