June 2nd, 2014

2013, cyd, new

it's just stuff, that's all

did i write in here yesterday? it was such a weird day, i don't remember. the whole weekend was weird. doc helped N move. we inherited some furniture and a printer. and a cat scratch tower to go out on the patio for the outside cats. it has to go outside because N was contaminated by some kind of chemical, so i don't want to keep it in the house. we also got a nice iron table wrapped with wicker for the patio. it looks great.

we are also storing a boat now. we had the room. she had the boat. it was a match made in heaven. it's covered and on a trailer and all nice looking. so we didn't up our white trash quotient with that.

kelli's going crazy and i can't do anything to help her. i can listen. i need to call her more often right now and be there for her. she is at a crossroads in her life and she has to take the steps and make the choices, i can't do it for her. i wish i could.

more coffee or cola? or just ice water. that would be best.

i got off to a late start today. didn't wake up until 7. the new halcion is working. too bad tonight is my last night of them. i will enjoy the sleep.

after15 years here, i am finally going to buy shorts. i bought a couple of pair last year when i was super skinny, and they don't fit me now. i have one pair that was half a pair of pjs with tigger on it. so we're going to Epic Thrift and getting me some shorts. i hate shorts. that's why i don't own any. i've always had weird shaped, fat little sausage legs, with cellulite since i can remember. i'll have to get my skirts out. just as cool, but longer.

TMI Alert: I hate it when i blow my nose and it's so full of snot that i end up with my face covered with it under the tissue. then i have to scrub my face and just ew.

doc dropped me down another grade or two in pot. we're now just above schwag (it's not any more pleasant than it sounds). and since the drop in potency, i've started losing interest in smoking. plus, doc got me a new pipe and it heats up to nuclear after three hits. so i put the bowl down and lose interest in it. this may be part of his master plan. this may just be a bonus.

ahhhhhhh, it's that time of day when the sun streams in the side window. it's crawling slowly across my arm and the laptop screen. warming the back of my neck. the electric company hasn't turned up the thermostat yet today, so it's a lovely 82 in here. once it gets hot outside, the electric company will turn our thermostat up three degrees for the hottest part of the day. it's still much cooler in this house than the apartment ever got. having an a/c unit that works helps. and the a/c here runs silently. back in the apartment, it was in the living room and thundered the entire time it was on. that's what half the fights with Mike were about. i couldn't hear the tv with the a/c or heat on and he wouldn't shut his stupid door.

back to the summer creeping in . . . doc raked yesterday. tomorrow i will get up early and hoe and plant the seeds. it's too hot now. at 8 am. and i have to remember to grab sunscreen. i keep it in my bathroom and my rucksack and never seem to use it.
2013, cyd, new

i think the cymbalta is kicking in.

i'm trying to drink as much water as cola. so far, so good. when i drink coffee, i drink twice as much water as coffee. with cola, i don't do that. not good.

i'm waiting for doc to get home. i got my pair of shorts dirty and had to hand wash them immediately, so i have no pants. i think i'll put on my jeans.

okay, jeans on. i'm decent now. i can do things like go outside and have a cigarette. so i did.

i called the doctor about the paperwork, nothing yet. then i called doc and left a message to that affect.

i think he's going out most of the day. to N's to do laundry. just a couple of loads. mostly my stuff. i've been changing my clothes somewhat regularly lately. i think the cymbalta is kicking in.
2013, cyd, new

i just wasn't in the mood.

i can't go to sleep. i probably could if i lay down, but i can't. i have to stay up part of the day. there's nothing really for me to do. everything is tidied, cleaned, scrubbed. fed, scooped, watered. should i read? i guess i should. i'm reading this book so quickly i'm forgetting things. i'm going to have to reread it.

wow, the new lipstick colors are really bad. neon. ew. i'm glad i don't wear cosmetics.

major just figured out i'm not busy (being on the computer doesn't count as busy to him) so he's meowing and pawing at me. there he goes, off to bathe Teeny. that will keep them busy for fifteen minutes.

the dog likes the new velvet pillow. he's started sleeping exclusively on it. it's so cute. he matches the pillow perfectly.

i napped all day and doc stayed up. he enjoys his quiet time alone. and i'm bored, so i sleep. usually from noon to four. i sleep a lot all of a sudden. i was laying awake, and tossing and turning, now i'm sleeping. and having REM sleep without waking up after each dream. so i get relaxing sleep, that is also refreshing. i mean, my body is tired right now, but my mind is wide awake.

i wouldn't be on the computer, else.

i think i'm going to go twitter for a while. i did today for an hour or so. i didn't read many articles, they were all too morbid for me. i just wasn't in the mood.