April 30th, 2014

2013, cyd, new

then i went and did my list of things.

the nightmares never stop. every hour or to they wake me up. if i can't sleep, i have nothing.

i bought card stock. i'm going to design my mother in law the most beautiful card ever. she decided her birthday card got lost because i must have addressed it. in fact, doc never sent it. she's a mother in law, she supposed to not like me. i took her baby. and i'm crazy. so there is plenty to have issue with. and she does. so this year, all my design skills go into a really nice card. i'm going to design it top to bottom in photoshop.

my birthday is in a couple of weeks. there's nothing i really want. well, nothing that costs under $500, so nothing, really. i got the card for my mini cam yesterday. so i'll take that out and play with it today. i can't believe i'm turning 45. i don't feel it. i guess i look it. my face looks different from pictures, but not to me in the mirror. a weird thing age does to us.

speaking of pictures, i still haven't found my box of pictures. i know they are here somewhere. the search is wearing me out.

i should eat something today. it's been a couple of days. i've been throwing food away to make doc think i'm eating it. not a lot. food is expensive. just the odd piece of lasagne or calzone. i'm just not interested in food and the thought of putting something other than liquid in my mouth makes me ill. so i'm okay with the coffee and especially the water. i'm drinking a lot of water. not too much. but enough. but i'm thinking that despite the obscene amounts of sugar in my coffee, my blood sugar may be low. i'll wait for my meds to kick in and see how i feel.

i just got a much awaited email from doc. i don't know what i was expecting, but it was a sterile list of things to do. no "how ya doin?". nothing. i replied, "yeah". the most passive aggressive thing i could think of. then i went and did my list of things.
2013, cyd, new

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