April 28th, 2014

2013, cyd, new

oh well. anything for my lizards.

i don't want to go to the doctor today. i wonder if there is any way i could get out of it. nope. doc won't let me not go. he's paying my co-pays because i bought a laptop bag online. his reasoning was that i didn't have enough for the co-pay, but i did have enough for the bag. i feel bad, but he insisted.

i still don't want to go to the doctor. what am i going to do but sit there and rock and cry? doc isn't coming in with me this time, we want the doctor to have some time alone with me. it's all so hopeless. i hate new doctors. you have to prove your madness all over again to them. it isn't bad enough that i have to leave the house for this. ugh. and shit.

the sun rose on a blue blue sky. fun, but no good for photography with my cams. oh, that reminds me, i should get my SD card for my mini cam today. so i can use that again. it records video in hi-def, so i like to use it when i can. though it's a bitch in low light, the noise! no noise removal filter can help it. but in the daylight, the video is great. i've missed this little cam. plus, it looks like a phone, so it's not as obvious that you're recording with it. a bright purple phone, but a phone.

i feel bad about the tornadoes, but i would really like some of those rain storms. we are about an inch and a half behind rainfall for the year. it was a really dry winter here.

my wildflower seeds got here. now i just need my hoe. doc found it in the store for five dollars less than it was online. maybe he'll get it today, he's got the truck with him today.

okay, i rinsed doc's laundry and took my meds. i'm not going to change my clothes or comb my hair. let the doctor see me as i am. no point in getting all dolled up, he needs to know me.

what am i going to talk to him about? right, day care. medicare and SSDI won't pay for in home care. i don't think. i need a social worker. i just found out that medicaid pays for dentures. so i need to get medicaid. i've given up on implants. unless i inherit the money from some unknown uncle, it's just not going to happen. i just have to learn to suck my thumb with dentures in. right. okay, so that's a little unrealistic. but it's an issue for me. my thumb is my comfort. all mine. no one can take it away from me.

chewy's been for a walk. now it's just waiting the 6 hours until the appointment. argh.

do not get pets on Craigslist. there's a group here that is selling puppies with Parvo. so the people take them home and the puppies die a couple of days later. if i could adopt every free pet on craigslist, i would. so many bad things happen with pets on craigslist. the site is a disease for animals. and don't buy a designer animal, adopt from a shelter. you'll get a healthier pet and a better more loving pet. Chewy is the best dog i've ever had. and the cats, not an issue among them. they even get along with each other. shelter pets are the greatest. i used to be wary of shelter pets, thinking something must be wrong with them, but it's their people that have something wrong with them, not the animals.

that reminds me, i should be able to find a lizard set-up cheap on craigslist. the death march has begun and i want to be ready for survivors. what do you feed these things? i know they like hunting moths. maybe crickets. ick. bugs. oh well. anything for my lizards.
2013, cyd, new

imagining it with wildflowers

did i mention that i don't want to go to the doctor? it's been a couple of hours, and some medication and i still don't want to go. i even changed my pants from sweats to jeans. i can't go out in sweats. i just can't bring myself to do that.

i got some great shots of some of the cats today. made a few memes from them. http://imgur.com/a/GU81f#0 should be the link to them. you've seen most of them before, i just keep adding to the album.

the wind is picking back up. we got a break from it yesterday, but it's back for the next three days. it mainly means i'll be smoking in the kitchen and the cats will stay in.

i gave chewy a bath yesterday and i thought it was warm enough for him to dry off, but i noticed he was shivering. so i wrapped him up in a blanket and cuddled him until he stopped. funny dog.

doc got a baker's rack with one leg missing and some stoppers missing. i found places online to order both of these things, so we have a new baker's rack. and he got a new table for outside. it will look so good blue.

I watered the plants. i may not kill these.

i've spent a lot of time outside today. just sitting with the cats, looking around the yard, imagining it with wildflowers.
2013, cyd, new

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2013, cyd, new

i hate my new doctor

i hate my doctor. they didn't even have HIPAA forms for me to get my records released. i found one online and printed it out. doc is going to fax it tomorrow. maybe when my doctor has my records, something will happen. today he asked why i came in after only a month and i told him because he said to. that was pretty much the end of my appointment. doc is talking about going back to Bist, but we can't afford him. we would have to get the truck fixed, pay the double co-pay and pay for the gas to and from for the truck. no. we can't afford that.