doc is going back to work tonight. so i don't have to kill him. he took the last two days vacation days and didn't tell me ahead of time. just kind of sprung it on me when i wondered why he wasn't going to bed. four days together. how we have not strangled each other is a miracle.
we have our moments. not many. we joke around. do some things together. not much. not often.
hearing from someone that they can never love you makes you resent them. doubt not. it makes you hate them and yourself. and that's where i am.
six days until my doctor's appointment. then i can either ask about the group home or not. how will i be happier? here? probably. the only problem is, once i leave, i can't come back if i hate it. i have to make this choice blind. i guess that's not that unusual. people make life changing decisions blind all the time. we did when we moved out here. i just feel awfully put upon.
the wind blew out the hot air and blew in the cool air. what a weird winter. spring, now. but still weird.
i listened to Beyonce and cried my eyes out today for some reason. even to "Single Ladies". just sat here and wept. it was so strange.
so you guys lliked the pictures? (Those who can see them, I'm looking at you, partyrunes.) Thank you for saying so. Those were just the HDR images i made from Vader's pictures.
we got a great picture from Chewy today, walking on a retaining wall. one second he's on the ground looking up at it, and the next picture, he is on the wall, staring straight down it. it was great. i don't know where the house is. it's hard to get a handle on which house is which when seen from his low perspective.
my patio is a mess. the wind covered it will dirt today. i have to sweep tomorrow and transplant the plants i got. i keep waiting for doc to help me like he said he would. i guess he's not, so i'm going to do it tomorrow before i lose any more. one purple flowered plant already died. that makes me sad. i neglected it.
we're getting a small aquarium and warm rock and branches and a nice set-up for ailing lizards this year. we can't stop the cats from hunting the lizards, but i can give them a safe place to convalesce and eat and die if they have to or get better if they can. no more needless suffering. this year, they get the blood cleaned off them, get their favorite meals, and get a nice tank to play in until they can go back out to the wall and stand up for themselves. i still don't know what i'll do about the baby birds and rats (so sad, but they are wild) and mice. but the lizards i can take care of.
i wonder what it's like to live in a place that doesn't have casino commercials every break. i can't remember. it's been too long that i've been here. it must be boring. and the payday loan centers. and all of the lawyers. i remember lawyer commercials in other cities, but nothing like i've seen here.
Circus Catimus had a pretty good first week on Twitter. 123 views. and i was only about a hundred of that. kidding, i wasn't that many. but i was a lot. i don't get reports on how it does on Facespace, since it's a community. the images on imgur are getting views, too.
oh, my TV show was sad. that sucks. they just sent off my favorite character. and then played a cover of "Landslide" to make it sting.
now there's a TV void for an hour. i just can't get into the 10 o'clock shows this season. none of them appeal to me. i've tried "person of interest" and "elementary" but they just don't click. we need another NCIS.
time to go promote Circus Catimus a bit. Find a couple of pictures to post, maybe make a new meme. i discovered today that lulu.com previews 10 pages of the photography book on their site, so that's pretty cool. i can't wait until that book gets here. i've figured out a way to send out signed copies without it costing any more than the retail and shipping the book would cost coming from lulu.com. it will take a little longer to get to the buyer, but i can do it. i need to work on my signature. "C" is not my strongest letter.
i'm going to go watch lizard first aid and care and feeding videos. they have a cracked aquarium next door they don't want that i'll see if they'll take $5 for. it will be perfect. when i first asked about an aquarium, doc thought i wanted fish. oh dear god, no. fish are not for lazy people. i like having fishie aquariums around, but i hate the cleaning and the filtering and the balancing and the dying and all of it. so, no fish, just lizards.