January 10th, 2014

2013, cyd, new

tomorrow, then

i've decided i hate my website. the one i want to build is rated "intermediate" in the Photoshop and design skills departments. i don't know if i'm there. i used to be, but now. i don't know. i've been looking at sample websites all day and downloading brushes and textures for Photoshop. my site design is stuck in the 2000's. i read a few lists of things that make you a bad designer, and i'm guilty of two of them that i found. Using bevels and drop shadows, though i think i use them sparingly and appropriately; and using Helvetica font. though, actually, the site right now is in Courier New.

i've found a tutorial on how to do a site i really like and could adapt to my needs. i can either buy the source files and find replacements from my own portfolio, or wing it. i'm going to read through the full tutorial today and see if i can wing it. i really don't want to pay the $20. i will, if i have to. but i'm still going to use my own images and colors. just use their basic design techniques to do it.

LATER . . .

my parents never called about my Nana. i called and got stonewalled. i can't even find out if she's in ICU or not. i know, i'll message Teneal, and she can get an update from her dad, another one that doesn't like me, who is close to the situation in Oakland. she'll be able to tell me what's up. okay, message sent to Teneal. thank the universe for my gorgeous cousin (my uncle's a good enough looking guy, but i swear i don't know where Teneal got her beauty from). she'll call him and find out what's going on. then maybe i can sneak back to the hospital tomorrow and see her when she gets out of ICU, if she's in there. why are my parent's such buttheads?

i slept all damn day. i mean, i just crashed. i needed it. strange dreams, i remember they were strange, but i don't remember what any of them were. i'm okay with that. if my mind is working out the strange and not involving me, more power to it. i won't interfere.

there, another 40+ people added to my twitter feed while i wasn't looking. strange. i changed my password. funny thing is, some of the people were local bands, some were dance music composers. in other words, people i want to be connected with. but i haven't been on twitter for a few days. not since the last time i found a bunch of new people on my timeline. anyway, password changed, issue a non-issue.

we got a copy of the lease today with both our names on it so doc can turn it in to the HR verification people. we've given them every document we can think of. finally today, they said that they would take the lease in lieu of the tax forms. good. i have a better understanding of the ACA now, and i know that while doc is claiming me as a dependent, i cannot qualify for medicaid. so if i don't get the UPS insurance, i am right and proper fucked. i don't know what Rand Paul is talking about, his dependent son getting a medicaid card, someone lied somewhere or that wouldn't have happened. i know this now.

i have to stop thinking of my paints and precious, unrenewable resources and just use them. i have some sort of block about it. those perfect, tiny little tubes full of magic. piffle. tomorrow, i paint. or maybe later tonight.

doc is convinced i can hack that site design without having to buy the source images. i was looking at the instructions, and i think he's right. it will take me some time, the guy is cagey about it to keep the value up. but doc reasoned that if i'm not actually going to use the source images, there is little point in me having them. true enough, and i have no other real use for the site they are on, so there is little point. so i'm going to study the instructions, which i have already gone over twice, and try to replicate the deisgn. the more i look at it, the more i want to change about it to fit my own needs.

i finally got myself a copy of Photoshop CS6. the filter kit i was trying to find was bundled in it. i have yet to play with it. i got another filter set that i only have 30 days on, then i have to give it up or fork over $150. balls. i have discovered about half of the tutorials i've been messing with use this version of the program. the other half use an older version, which i also have, Photoshop 7, my favorite version. so between the two i have a lot of versatility. tonight i want to create a gallery of lomo-inspired florals. i have the floral pictures, so it's just a matter of doing the work. it will be my first easter egg. the rest i won't announce, and i won't ever tell where i hide them in the site. you just have to look for glitches and click on unsuspecting things.

okay, i bought this Kindle for doc for his birthday a couple of years ago. when they put it on deep sale, right before they came out with the tablet-like Kindle. it's a simple one. but we don't have wifi so he hasn't really used it. i just collected about 400 books to put on it. then i can read it in the tub. and he can read it anywhere, i just want him to use it. he always wants to read more, but doesn't think much of my library. i just got a package of 300 books from all over the spectrum, he should be able to find something that he likes.

now fighting with the Kindle, trying to figure out how it works. then i'll take a bath. i haven't heard anything from Teneal. tomorrow, then.
2013, cyd, new


he's mad at me and i'm not sure why. he messed up my bathroom and i asked him not to. he asked why. i told him because it was my space and he said, your point? and i walked away. and he stopped speaking to me and started slamming things around and now he is asleep. and i am confused. i know he wasn't feeling well, i was going to take a bath and then make him some food. he made himself food while i was in the bath. why? he didn't think i cared. because i didn't want him messing up my bathroom? he freaks out and mentions it eighty times if i leave a shampoo bottle in his shower. i think i need to point this out to him.

i'm learning a lot about photography with this whole photoshop immersion thing. like, for example, there are some pictures that can't be saved. you either enjoy them as they are or delete them. and when spring hits and i'm outside again, i plan to take a million pictures. and i plan to go places this year. to the strip to tour the casinos, and then to other places around town. we will get more financially stable as the year progresses, so i can eventually start going to the museums and stuff that has an entry fee. like the Shark Reef at Mandalay Bay.

i've been comparing Photoshop 7 with Photoshop CS6. there are some simple and really helpful things that 7 does that CS6, the new and improved one, doesn't. and a couple of them were things i used all the time. like the ability to drag a file from windows explorer directly into Photoshop, instead of having to always use the File menu. and when you have an image copied to the clipboard, if you open a new document in 7, it will automatically be the same dimensions as the image on your clipboard. these are two important things to me.

okay, you want to know what REALLY bugs me? almost every article i read, in Buzz Feed, Salon, NYT, i find typos. words left out, words switched around. do none of these places have competent copy readers? it is really annoying to be sailing along through some article and have a word be missing. it completely trips me up, i hate it. blargh. and these places are online, it's not like they are in print. they can go in and change things and correct them and it never seems to happen. okay, enough of that pet peeve.
2013, cyd, new

stupid doc got a stupid cold and stupid gave it to me

ridin' around on his mountain bike out there in the cold like it's bloody summer or some damn thing. yep. he has a sick. and he was nice enough to share it. *sniffle*

Burn Notice is on ion until 3am. *squee*

i made myself a gift in the name of education furthering my past and future career: Photoshop CS6, Dreamweaver CS5 and the related "For Dummies" books. i've decided, after spending two days reading Photoshop tips and tricks and tutorials, that i want to master both programs. not just for web design, but for photography and creation of art. i've played with both programs and have had a working knowledge of both for years. but it's time to step up and really learn what they can do. i especially need to update my web design skills. but i'm concentrating on Photoshop first, since i'll need that to make the graphics for the web sites i design.

and i've decided my goal in this is to make Kelli a new, spiffed up website for her birthday that she can either use or not, as she decides. i want her to have a top down, slick portfolio site to show off her art. she deserves it, her art deserves it. and she's just not one to be bothered learning a bunch of code and shit. i am. and i run out of gift ideas for her. she isn't one to have "stuff". and i give her all my downloads and videos and shit out of a matter of course. this year for xmas, i was really reaching. instead of sending her digital copies of a bunch of movies, i encoded them and burned them onto DVD and made labels for them and put them in cases and everything. so for her birthday, it's a new site.

i haven't heard from my mystery emailer (my brother?) for a couple of days. that adventure might be over. que cera, cera.

my Nana is doing well. true to what doc told her, she felt like getting up and jogging after her surgery. she'll be in ICU for a couple of days and then i can go visit her again, if my dad will just keep me up to date. when i bit the bullet and called him today, he said Teneal didn't know about Nana because she doesn't talk to Mark, her dad, my uncle (who i do NOT like - he got all weird and aggro with doc one year for no reason, and i just walked away from the situation). in fact, Mark may not even know she's married. all i could do was laugh, considering how i had to gird myself just to call my dad and get the status on things. Teneal and i have so much in common. for example, we both think my dad has a creepy pervy vibe. female friends rarely, if ever came to my house again after meeting my dad.

all of this seems so unimportant. i just want to devour these books. it's time i excel at something. and all of the tools are just out there for the taking, i mean, how could i not? i could spend a few hundred dollars and have to leave my house often to take courses in these programs, or i can do it for free myself with the help of piratebay and youtube. i have no excuse to be fumbling around with four commands in dreamweaver anymore. or not using the channels and layers to their full potential in photoshop. i'm ready for keyboard shortcuts, by god!