January 7th, 2014

2013, cyd, new

i'm going to try and get her to spill the secret of the cioppino.

i changed zenweb.net over to ZenWeb Media's page from a tribute page to Kasey (which will be remade on fabulousdisaster.com), over the weekend. it is tuesday. i have gotten 8 emails about marketing zenweb.net since yesterday. seems to me, people are finding it just fine. silly spammers. some of the emails are even very personalized, like an actual human looked at my site. pretty impressive, but i don't need marketing. and wouldn't buy it from a cold call, anyway.

i took two ambien to get some straight sleep last night. didn't work. i am immune to ambien and xanax and valium now. none of them work on me. it makes anxiety attacks pretty inconvenient.

ready for another day with my grandma. doc is going to try again to get off work early, maybe today he will be able to.

this has all been weighing on my mood. doc said i was in touch with my inner cranky yesterday.

oh, and someday, somewhere, i will walk by a mexican man and he will NOT say "punta". i swear. that is my goal. before i die, not to be called a punta by every mexican that walks by me. i don't know what it is. there was a house full of mexicans in PA that i used to have to walk by on my way to the store and they would chant it. then yesterday, at the hospital as we were walking out. doc was walking about 3 yards from me, on a different walkway, and these two guys walked up and as they passed me one looked at me and said it. what the fuck? and i'm always so shocked and confused, i never have time to say something about it. kelli and doc were full of suggestions for comebacks. i just never have the time.

i'm worn out, exhausted, but not tired. make sense? i can't go to sleep. i just lay there and toss and turn. play with the animals. but when i sit up i am just so overwhelmed with tired.

i ate two hamburgers yesterday. i really hadn't eaten for a week. doc bought me two and i ate two. piggy. heh.

doc and my nana were talking about my coffee/sugar/milk usage, or over usage and nana said, "but you're not fat!" i told her i don't eat. that's what led to the infamous conversation about vegetables.

i have to take down the xmas lights outside today. the tree is staying up for a while longer. everything feels on edge, i can't get into the middle of a big project like that. it took me three days to decorate it. plus we are buying those plastic storage bins for the vintage ornaments because my collection now warrants it. so i get to wait a few days before taking the tree down. and you know what? this year i got enough of the holidays that i'm ready to let it go. i can't even finish my snickerdoodles, i'm just over it. i'm looking forward to valentine's and easter.

i think i'm going to lay down for a while and try to sleep a little more, and then get up and clean the kitchen and get ready to go to the hospital. i wonder what my nana will talk about today? i'm going to try and get her to spill the secret of the cioppino.
2013, cyd, new

health insurance woes

in this age of the Affordable Healthcare Act. For whatever reason, when i went through the exchange, i didn't qualify for medicaid. my premiums started at $226 per month. i can't afford that, needless to say. so it's a good thing i'm on doc's work insurance. except for one thing: UPS flipped out at the ACA and decided to cull it's insured. any spouse who can get insurance through their own employer is not eligible for UPS dependent health care at any price. i have no employer, so i wasn't worried.

now, i'm worried. they won't verify me as his dependent. we have sent in form after form after marriage certificate after social security papers. and they still won't verify me. they want a tax return from the last 6 months. i don't know if anyone has noticed, but tax time was more than 6 months ago. and doc didn't file this year. so we don't have that form.

we have 13 more days until i'm cut off for the year, and i really fear i will be uninsured. i don't know why i don't qualify for medicaid when Rand Paul's son does. i'm on medicare. i make $0 in income per year. i'm really disillusioned with the ACA right now, but not because it is a bad thing, but because of the way the company chose to react to it.
2013, cyd, new

friends and lovers

i've figured out how to bypass the errors and add friends to my account again. so i did. if i missed you, comment, but i think i was pretty thorough.