December 18th, 2013

2013, cyd, new

i love snickerdoodles

they are the best kind of cookie. home made cookie. there is something to be said for oreos. kelli/santa is bringing me peanut butter oreos for xmas.

last night i got goodies from the Tech Fairy. Thank you Tech Fairy! nom nom nom. i may not have to make caramel corn as a goodie this year. i'll stick to the fudge and candied nuts. if i can. i put the ribbon back on it, when i was done seeing if it was perishable, then put it under the tree, not a truffle will be sniffed before the blessed day.

i get paid today. that gives me $200+ to spend on groceries and stuff i need and want for a month. BUT, doc called last night after he got to work (NEVER a good sign) and asked if i wouldn't mind buying new wheels for his bike. i was a bit curious as he just got the spokes adjusted and tubes replaced and properly pumped in his tires, but sure, he would know if he needed new ones, and he's the level headed one when it comes to money, so sure. then he told me. someone had their bike on the bus rack before doc. so he had to move doc's to get his down. he left doc's bike hang and it got half run over by the bus. the wheels are now all twisted. people suck! that was my xmas money! i was meant to get him a chainsaw on a stick, and now i'm not going to be able to get it for him until january when it's no longer on sale. bother.

i have enough left for groceries. including stuff for me to make more cookies and candy. as long as i don't eat all of it by myself. i offer it all to doc to take to work and share with his few friends there. i just like making it, frankly. yes, it's nice to have a sickerdoodle to nom on when the time is right. but that's not the point. i notice, though, that doc didn't take any of them to work. and when he sat down to have a cookie with me on the couch yesterday, he ate 4 of them. i think he likes them.

i got up feeling weary today. i don't like that. i like to get up energized and "up".

i was thinking about looking into talk-to-text programs to do these as written and vocal entries. it has occurred to me that most of you have never spoken to me conversationally, you have no idea what my tone is. and i don't often write in my "tone". there's a lot of sarcasm here that may be missed. for all i know you think i really like white shoes. it makes me sad. does anyone have any experience with these programs? any of them out there worth it? i've been seeing advertisements for Dragon, a program. it's making me think.

i'm still wearing this "Ah Bra", even though it gives me mono-boob. i have little choice, except to go braless and that works about up until i start dancing and they start swinging around, bouncing about, slapping me in the face, then i have to pen them in. and i am ALWAYS aware that it is on me. there is never a time when it just fades into the background. if you pull it down, it feels good on the boob and the ribs, but bad on the armpits and shoulders. let it ride up, it's great in the armpits and shoulders, but sucks in the rib and boob area. there is no middle, i've tried. with the idea of duct taping the thing in place once i found it. no go. i put the duct tape away.

wow, it's 47 balmy degrees. if i put on a sweatshirt and dance, i can go out to the studio. i'll think about that. i don't know what my block is with it, i've just gotten it and i'm already developing blocks. i think it's just mainly wanting to spend time with doc once he gets home. so yeah, going out to work now would be good. i have the lights out there. and i'll feel so good when i'm done with the sorting and unpacking and i know i'll find all kinds of inspiring stuff to turn into assemblage. it's spread out all over the place, stashed in every drawer, every file box, every accordion folder. i'll find plenty.

i got a new end table yesterday. the neighbors were throwing it out because the bottom shelf of it was broken, i glued it and have it sitting. i'll attach supports later today. the drawer of it is a basket. i hope doc doesn't want it because i do. maybe in my room, maybe in the studio.

i made $20 yesterday, and the paints/brushes/canvases cost $82 plus shipping. i'm a quarter of the way there! more toys to list today. hopefully i have some more rare ones that i can put up that will be fast sellers. i'm getting a lot of people viewing the Cabbage Patch sales. i have a full set of McDonald's Beanie Babies that i have to find and put up. i don't even know what that would cost. i'll have to do some research, i'm sure it's valuable because it's Beanie Babies, it's more than a decade old, and it's the full set. the tub out in the garage is full of complete sets. i also have a bag of Wendy's, Pizza Hut and Burger King Toys. those will be sold piecemeal. one at a boring time. $2 a piece. i'll be painting in my art journal in no time.

today i must find my sticky-tacky. i consolidated and printed out my zentangle patterns (yes, there IS an organized way of doodling) and i want to tack some of them up to the wall in the studio, since that's where i'll be working in my journals. i can also take my altered book out there to await the glue stick and paint.

i've rambled enough. time to smoke a smoke and see what i'm going to do. i also could use a shampoo. i'm rockin' the 80's hair, with my curls brushed out in a halo around my head. it's really ridiculous. there will be no selfies today. there was a time i couldn't say selfie, and now i say it daily. so sad.
2013, cyd, new

i wrote a fan letter

i don't know what came over me . . . here it is. you guys are likely the only ones that will read it.

Dear Lady Gaga,

I know that’s your name, and it’s the customary salutation, but it seems so lame. I’d like to speak to you on a more personal level than just being one of the masses of Little Monsters. Not that they aren’t great. I could have parented any one of them. I’m not that old. 44. I still wear the jeans and punk tshirts I wore in high school and college. I’m not all that interesting. I’m an artist and writer. I do collages and folk art and write poetry that doesn’t rhyme. I perform in small venues when the mood strikes me. I always wanted to be a singer in a band. A punk band.

You are shiny. And I mean that in all caps. Everything about you. Your art, fashion, music. It’s beautiful to me. The whole thing. But especially your music. And your lyrics, child! Gypsy makes me cry, and I don’t get the why of it. And Manicure makes me think fondly of girlfriends passed. You use words that are big. That sounded awkward. You don’t just have the simple, “I touch you, you touch me, I am woman, rarr,” vocabulary. That impresses me.

I’ve never been into pop. Pop culture or music. This is my first foray into it. And I think I’ve started well, though I am deeply in love with the little I know about you. I guess that’s alright, you’re far away and very famous. You likely won’t even get this. But if you do, know that you are shiny. And that is a very good thing.

All Sincerety,

Cydniey Buffers
2013, cyd, new


a ha! so, this cable guy discovers that the line in from the house has perfect levels, and the line from the splitter to the TV is 10 less. whatever that means, i'm getting a new splitter and hunk of cable and hopefully On Demand that works. i've been missing all my BBC America shows because i've been sleeping in the evenings. whatever, as long as it works. he's having a hard time of it. the box won't go back on.

i got through two drawers, a basket and a binder out in the studio. i've thrown away much. it feels so good to go through and find things, like the mounting screw to my tripod and to purge stuff that has been building up.

i made a batch of heath chip cookies and made myself a huge breakfast of toast and scrambled eggs and sausages. then i did all the dishes i'd made. they've been put away now.

doc called. for a price he could get new wheels with new tires or a stripped down refurbished bike they offered him. he asked if i wanted the bike for xmas. one time thing. i said no. i can't see myself getting on a bike. i have a hard enough time going for walks, and i have a dog to take with me. nice to offer, though.

the cable is fixed. i expect doc will spend the afternoon playing with the On Demand channel.

i'm bored, i want to lay down. i'm full and warm and content. i think i will lay down for a while until doc gets home. which shouldn't be too long from now.
2013, cyd, new

i figured she would have saved that up and kicked my ass the next time she came out here.

working on B and J's xmas presents. i have to send doc to get the frame for the 2nd half of J's present. They are the ones that gave us Bagira, the long haired fat black lump of loving mew i have come to know and enjoy. i don't talk about Bagira because he is a background cat. mostly outside, he comes home once a day just for love. i'm giving her a framed picture of him, among other things. she will likely get fudge, cookies and candied nuts also. i want them to be happy, even though B makes me miserable.

i know i said the studio was my xmas gift . . . but i've had these paints on the brain . . . and doc asked today if i'd like them for xmas. of course i'd like them for xmas! are you high? so, since i bought him two new wheels for his bike, when he gets the money, he is buying me the paints and brushes and canvas boards. they equal about the same amount. i won't get them in time for xmas, but i don't care. we might not even have xmas on the 25th . . . if it is too cold to grill that day, we're going to put it off until New Year's Eve. we'll still open the presents, we're not fools.

he noted that the canvas boards were small. only 10x12 inches. i told him i'm used to working on trading cards, these will be big enough for me. i've done big work, big collages. i hate them. okay, i like to look at them, but i hate that i think about what could have been if i had been working in a smaller area. i don't spread well. i work best on small canvases. that way also, i can use just about anything for a canvas. so what if my art can't be seen from across the room? yeah, you have to get up close to it and look at it and study it, then you see. i like it that way.

Tulip is a nurfle monster. a "nurfle" is a rub of their face against your face. Tulip loves it. i make kissing noises and she rubs on my face and we make out like that. she always jumps on my lap when i'm on the toilet. she knows i'm a captive audience. she stands up on her hind legs and throws herself against the door until she opens it enough to get in. then she climbs up in my lap with little claw and starts to nurfle me. i spend a lot of unintended time on the toilet this way.

no cookie making today. i'm waiting for the candy making. condensed milk is on sale, and the fudge recipe i wanted to use calls for it. the one i didn't want to use calls for cream. and doc gets to pick the nuts. i keep telling him either walnuts or pecans. when cinnamon and sugared, they each have their appeal. the bitter of the walnut goes well with the sugar while the butter of the pecan brings out the cinnamon. either way, i win. he can decide based on what he likes best and what is cheapest.

he has about a half a cup of chopped hazelnuts that are going to go rancid soon. i want to make him biscotti with them, but he is being awfully protective of those nuts, like they are the last hazelnuts on the planet. it's odd what he latches onto. at least i'm obvious, toys, stuffed animals, real animals, shiny things. with him it's a mug or a bag of chopped nuts or candy to bake with. and still he resists as i bake with them. he is an odd duck.

there's a box on my glass work table that i need to go through tomorrow and empty. it is a solid box. a new box. a sturdy box. it will be good to pack things in when i pack things for storage. so i need to empty it. i will do little else in there tomorrow as most of the studio and my wood table are piled with bike parts.

oh, good news! doc is taking the money he would have paid B to do the bike and getting the tool he needs to do it himself! one less thing we need B for. now if doc could just learn how to overhaul the bike . . . right. i can dream. B won't be around forever, he keeps saying they are going to Florida. i don't think he realizes a cross country move with stuff is a multi-thousand dollar adventure. because they aren't going to ride their scooters to Florida. we won't even get into why anyone would want to move there, B belongs there, he's batshit crazy.

years ago i was given a round, rattan coffee table with a glass top. i painted the table and later, when i got glass paints, i painted the top. you may have seen pictures of it. well, a few years ago it broke and there has been a chunk out of it since then. we've tried to mend it, but to no avail. today, on a trash pile, doc found a replacement glass top for the table. right there. and the guy pulled up while he was trying to figure out how to get it home with his bike in tow. and the guy, who has two dogs and knows him from Chewy, puts the glass in his car and follows doc home with it! how cool is that? in one week, two guys and two vans have come to his rescue. i think that is so neat.

so tomorrow i'll clean the glass off, it's a mess. and then i will replace this thing i hate. the colors have all turned with nicotine exposure to take on an eerie yellow hue. i hate it. and the broken bit, that's just dangerous. and it's ugly. it's just something that screams "white trash" and i hate hate hate it.

kelli teased me about my xmas present today, knowing when i got it i was putting it under the tree and not opening it right away. i told her, hah! it will take you forever to get into your gift! i had a gift box from an extravagant Harry & David's gift one year and it fit everything just perfectly, then after i got it packed up, doc said it wouldn't withstand the rigors of the postal system. and i couldn't find a box to switch the stuff to. so i cut apart another box and made a box with the cardboard and tape, around the packed gift box. heh. she'll never get into that thing. i ended up not wrapping each of her movies. i figured she would have saved that up and kicked my ass the next time she came out here.