November 8th, 2013

2013, cyd, new

at least i say "have a good day"

it is impossible to be depressed while listening to Shonen Knife. try it, i dare you. i was in a hopeless place when i got up this morning (note i didn't say "woke up", this will be important later), and decided to turn on some Gurl Punk. now i'm ready to conquer the world. or at least eat my everything bagel with the garlic shmear.

i sprayed down the offending couch with alcohol last night. i've given in and said doc can bring home something toxic to try and rid us of these fucking bugs. we'll lock the cats in an unaffected room. if there is such a thing in this house, which i am starting to doubt. we'll be spending tomorrow at the laundrette hot drying things to kill the bugs in them. my pillow . . . and my blanket, which i just got back . . . i know i'm too old for a blankie, but that's what it is. it's from the hospital when i got ECT, it's white and just the right size for one person. it is cool in summer and warm in winter. there are many blankie's like it but that one is mine. and now it's sitting out on the porch.

i have a confession to make. i know i say i hate reality shows. and i do. mostly. there is one that i will go to the ends of the earth to watch and that is "Kitchen Nightmares". my love for Gordon Ramsey is well documented. i wrote BBC America a nasty letter for not showing Ramsey's Christmas Special last year. yes, i have the recipes, but you have to show the show . . . For some reason, that show, Kitchen Nightmares, is just so . . . i love it! i've worked for some of the worst people in the industry in some of the most impossible situations and this show just blasts them out of the water of delusion. it almost makes me want to go back into the industry, but not here in Vegas. too cut throat for me. a guy i knew got a great job on the line at one of the big casino restaurants, but was working 12 hour shifts with no days off. fuck that noise! i'm over being that devoted to someone else's dream. and i don't work well in the corporate kitchen.

B is supposed to come over today. i have to behave. the old laptop (the one he tried damn hard to destroy before doc took it back) started inexplicably working yesterday, which will make it easier to keep my rage down. i'm not supposed to let him know i think he is irretrievably stupid.

i love it on TV when they show people working with laptops with no cords coming out of them. i have four cords coming out of mine. and one of those leads to two more.

hmm. the window has been open all night. that's why the planes were extra loud. lot of people on red-eye flights coming in last night. the night was full of entertainment though i turned off all media. doc brought the bagels and such home in a big paper shopping bag yesterday and Vader and Leiatini have claimed it as their own. so they played in it for a few hours. they are all asleep now. silly cats. Simon is stubbornly sleeping on the loveseat, though it's all taken apart.

oh, on Leiatini's name, to be said like a cocktail. what cocktail? Vodka, bit of vermouth, and a cat sneeze into the glass before you pour. that's a Leiatini. she's a sneezy thing. she's over her cold. she goes in tomorrow for her surgery. then she will be ours forever. we're technically still her foster parents until tomorrow. though i have the promise that they won't take her away from us. i've grown so attached to her. it shows me i could never be a foster parent to other cats, i would end up adopting them all. and i'm full up on four legged critters. speaking of, gotta go find the dog. he ran away this morning, following Evie. she's come back and he has not. some day we will fix that fence so he can't get out. then i don't know what he will do, he'll have to "make" in his own yard, he won't like that.

i have to go dismantle the living room and spray it down and then vacuum up the carcasses. after i have a bagel. since i have them i am going to enjoy them. this is only the fourth time in 13 years i've had a proper bagel. and i used to work at a bagel place, they were once the staple of my diet. out here you have to go to Einstien's to get a decent bagel, and it is still nothing compared to the ones i used to get fresh out of the oven.

if you watch Kitchen Nightmares and take nothing else from it, know that food that has been frozen is shite compared to fresh. there is no mid range. it's either fresh, or it isn't. there is no such thing as Fresh Frozen. it may have been frozen fresh, but the minute those crystals hit the food, it is crap. and if you have to freeze something, for the sake of all that is holy, freeze it properly. there is nothing worse than biting into something that is freezer burned.

oh, now Fear is on. i think i'll listen to this as i wait for B to come over . . . no, it will make me too aggro. i really just want to punch him out. tie him to a chair and gag him (a must, he is annoying to listen to) and slap him around for a while. i really am a sadistic fuck when it comes down to it. i want to go all Reservoir Dogs on him. but you can't do that to someone you have a professional relationship with.

oh man, i've been up for two hours. i've done nothing. i just want doc to get home.

and how is it with doc? we haven't had a "misunderstanding" for three days. i've been cool and calm and not taking things personally. and most importantly, telling him when i am frustrated or confused and talking it out with him. i've been told to do it all my life, but doc is the first person who has been open to it. and it took me 15 years to realize it. he actually told me he loved me the other day. for the first time, outside of love making, in 8 years. that's a long time to be at odds with your soulmate. he even slipped and called me "babe" the other day. i'm not usually accepting of pet names, though i use them often. i call him babe and hon all the time. of course, i call the cats that, too. i'm one of those annoying people that call strangers "sweetie".

okay enough of this self indulgence, i'm just putting off the inevitable. time to eat and then dismantle the room.

have a good day!