October 25th, 2013

2013, cyd, new

clearly, i have some more trouble shooting to do

the laptop snapped off and won't come back on. i will work on that tomorrow. i will make it work. that is all there is to it.

i'm in a position to sit and watch two people make every possible mistake raising their child, and having to be absolutely silent about it. i don't have kids, what would i know? stupid people shouldn't breed, but it would help if the stupid people recognized they were stupid to begin with.

all the black cats are in. that took some wrangling and chasing around the yard and pulling off the wall. Evie gets so upset being inside that i take her out to pee twice a day. she just doesn't like the litter box. she wants to pee outside. who can blame her, we keep the boxes clean, but still. ewww. i don't know how they do it.

i think i'll take sleeping pills tonight. maybe that will hep me sleep.

i had roast chicken and spanikopita for dinner. mmmmm. i can't get enough spinach lately. i have doc searching for a Stouffer's spinach souffle that i am craving.

doc wants to get me a new futon mattress. i'm content steam cleaning mine, it's thick, i like it. and we really don't have the budget for a new one. i want him to get a bed first. i'm fine on the couch. for now.

this weekend i take back my bedroom. the animals get packed up into garbage bags to be taken to the laundrette to be run through the dryer. the animals that had eggs on them are still outside. they have been sprayed with toxic shit and vacuumed. tomorrow i will take alcohol and a scrub brush to them. we will steam clean the carpet and the bed. maybe i have a few extra dollars to buy some light colored sheets that will go with my comforter. it should be easy to get sheets, i have every color in my room but purple and lemon yellow oh and teal. but the rest of the rainbow is there.

we're going to call the cable company next week and get cable hooked up in my room. it's part of doc's campaign to get me off the couch. i want my blankets back. and my pillows. hrmph.

then i will do a ritual. though i don't believe the goddess watches me, there is comfort and familiarity in the ritual. i will cleanse my room. i will, as seaivy said, reclaim it. it was her idea to do the ritual, and i think it's a grand one. i wouldn't have thought to do it on my own. but a nice cleansing ritual is just what the room calls for once i get it cleaned out.

i still don't know what i'll do with my stuffed animals. clearly i can't put them back on the bed. there are three i sleep with regularly, and the tiggers. i can keep those on the entertainment center and dresser and headboard, but i think the rest will be packed up and put out in the garage for now, and storage eventually. i'll take them there when i go to get my xmas stuff. this bums me out, but doesn't fill me with hopelessness as it has the past few days. maybe some other time i will be able to have them out.

luckily, i have kept my room clean and uncluttered, so steam cleaning it will be easy. just move the mattress out and i'm ready to go. i could actually empty the room of furniture in under a half an hour if i had to.

ooh, the tylenol PM is doing its thing. i'm starting to feel drowsy. this may be a good night. i think i'll turn off the tv and set up a night of music for myself. harry connick and frank sinatra and doris day and dean martin. yeah. or maybe a mozart night. hmmm. no, i'll just do my regular playlist. that way i'll have interesting dreams which, with any luck, i won't remember a bit of. i don't mind my brain working things out while i sleep, i just don't want to know about it. the good dreams i don't want to wake from and the bad dreams haunt me. either way, it's a bad deal.

Chewy was good during my nap, he stayed entwined in my legs. i don't expect that kind of luck tonight. i expect him right up by my belly. he is such a small dog, but he has the uncanny power to make himself weigh 150 pounds when he's leaning against me. i don't know what it is.

his Union Jack sweater will be here any day. i can't wait. it's been warm, but it's supposed to cool down next week. it can't get here soon enough. once he's decked out in that, he will be the handsomest dog in the neighborhood. eventually i will get him a studded leather dog collar. the one on ebay doesn't expire, so it will be there when i make the money.

i also need to work on ebay stuff this weekend. a few more pieces of jewelry to post, and a few pieces to fix, then photograph and post. then maybe i'll make some stuff. i need more pride jewelry because i need to order more stuff for more pride jewelry. it sells the best. i'm getting a lot of nibbles on stuff. and i have to keep reminding myself to be patient, that the holidays are coming up, and things will sell then. for now the most i can do is just get ready for that. maybe i can make enough money from xmas sales to fund my spring/summer line. because i plan to do a spring/summer line. much chain. less beads. simple. except with the earrings, i plan to so some nice boho stuff in the earring category.

speaking of that, i think i will go surf the beading site until the sleep takes over. have a nice night.
2013, cyd, new


and so it's settled. when i am being an unreasonable cunt, doc is simply going to yell "twatwaffle" in a bad (and i mean horrible) english accent. lets hope it makes me laugh as hard in the moment. there has got to be some way to reach me when i am in these rages. maybe twatwaffle is the way.

i got no sleep. i sang along to every song that came on for three hours while laying here covered in cats. and a dog. though, really, he's barely a dog. i can count on my fingers how many times he's barked since we adopted him. for example: yesterday morning at 6:49 i was sitting here, typing, when there was a noise at the door, someone was at the security gate. Chewy ran to investigate, but stayed silent as doc unlocked all the doors and came in. great watch dog. he doesn't like strangers, though. or, let's say he is a good judge of character, and we have some characters around here.

there's some big festival downtown this weekend. i'm tempted to ask doc if we can take the bus down there. there's no point in driving, as there is no parking, but i wouldn't mind going to see what it's about. i haven't been paying attention, but it's some huge deal.

okay, i'm going to bite the bullet and ask doc for money today. i just don't know how much. probably around $20. that gets me 15 things and postage. let me back up. i went to the jewelry supply site last night before i lay down, and they are having a $1 sale on a lot of stuff i like to use. and there was so much stuff i wanted. and i got so many ideas for stuff to make before the holidays. stuff stuff stuff.

i'm being attacked by affectionate cats! help! Freddie is all up in my face, she's tickling my chin with her whiskers. you'd think we went away for a month. i guess it's just that there are so many, it takes time to love them all.

i can't decide whether to read or write. or lay back down. i had such high hopes for last night, that sleep med was making me tired but as soon as i turned out the lights and lay down, my eyes snapped open. so i just snuggled with the animals. first thing i must do is pet Major, i made the mistake of waking him and now he won't shut up.
2013, cyd, new

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