September 29th, 2013

2013, cyd, new

My tweets

2013, cyd, new

puppie do too much damage

got up around 6, late for me, and doc was up. we hung out and drank coffee. i listened to xmas music, he watched TV. then i took a lousy nap. i had my comforter on chewy and i and it got too hot, and i hate more than anything to wake up sweating. i just hate to sweat. on my face. it itches. i don't mind working up a sweat but just sitting or laying and sweating sucks. so i got up and got over that. oh yeah, and i took a bath. that was an adventure. Tulip (i really hope doc changes her name) was in the bathroom, as that is her room while she recuperates. i figured i would go in, have a nice soak and a read and shave my legs and wash my hair. check on the last two. the first two, not so much. i was laying there reading and she climbed onto my chest, over the water. then she started kneading my belly, which was also sticking out of the water. after i shaved my legs and there were no bubbles left, she tried to step on my arm, which was submerged. Today We Learned "Wet". she is so cute.did i show you this picture yet?

i tried something different with my hair today. i usually use an anti-frizz gel that is no longer available (i bought a case of it back in the day because i just knew they would discontinue it after i figured out i loved it) and give it the "wet look". doc thinks it's too dated, too grungy. so i tried using the Enjoy (stupid name for a hair product that costs so much) oil i use when i straighten it. i figured it would let it be curly, but keep the frizz down. i was wrong. frizz out. but on the bright side, my hair was pre-conditioned when i straightened it. i feel so vain doing it. but i can't help it. i have always wanted straight hair, and just when i came to tems with my curls, they up the technology on the flat iron. so it's so easy and fast to straighten it now. and i love it so much more straight, no frizzies, you can see how many colors of yellow and white it is in stripes, which i think is neat. i was thinking about dying it purple.

no, i won't dye it purple. i would get sick of that so quick. i'll buy a wig. i have a leloo dallas wig. of course. i've never seriously worn it. i actually think it looks better on this one teddy bear i have than it does on me.

more of my ebay stuff sold. time to list more. i only did a dozen sales at a time, because i didn't want to get overwhelmed. but now four have ended, i can set up more. and i need to pack a stack of paper for shipping with the others tomorrow. no problem.

so i've noticed with straight hair that i can tell when it's getting dirty because it starts sticking together and i can't easily run my fingers through it. i know this because i obsessively run my fingers through it. heh. something else i couldn't do when it was straight. but i will say, i'd rather have naturally curly hair because you can fake straight but you can't fake a natural curl. i'm getting it cut soon. the ends are breaking with the heat of the flat iron, the oils only mitigate the damage so much.

when doc gets home i have to give Tulip her meds. one liquid, one paste and one sprinkled on her food. no problem. she gets the paste twice a day and i gave it to her last night and she liked the flavor of it. so that was easy enough, i figure i'll give her the liquid first and let her chase that with the paste she likes, then give her the food and let her eat it at her leisure. she is barely sneezy, and very active. this is nothing like the infection that jack had. i was expecting a Very Sick Cat. nope, just a bit of a cold.

the director of foster care at the animal shelter is calling us on monday. i wonder if she is going to ask us to foster. we've adopted three cats and a dog from them in the past year. maybe they figure i've got the free time to foster. it's an added cost, so it's up to doc. i'm cool with it. kittens though, not dogs. puppies do too much damage. a few kittens every so often i can handle.
2013, cyd, new

i a so overwhelmed by my own self

okay, i have been putting things off too long and letting shit go. i just cleaned up/out my "writing" flash drive that travels between computers, depending on who i am using at the time. i found about 150 poems (YES, more poems) i didn't know i had. stuff i just wrote and stashed and never looked at again, or if i did, it was in a medicated haze that left my memory of it non-existent. of course i also found helpful things, like the Word documents for the books i have/had on, so i can re-format and re-publish a couple of chapbooks that they stopped printing, and go through electronically finding poem titles and such for the spread sheet.

i have nothing online, compared to what i have written. i have enough to publish another damn book. and let me be straight, i don't write bad poetry. no such thing. someone will find it and like it. so i publish everything i have. everything that makes it to the electronic stage and some things that are only handwritten.

allow me to go feed the cats their wet food before i put felix through a wall. or eat him or something nefarious.

oh, so much better, cats are fed and felix is back out for the evening. since it's getting cold, he'll be back around 2am. right before i go to bed. he's a desert cat, a pussy. he's like me, it dips below 70 degrees and he's diving for body heat.

i can't forget to get doc up an hour early tonight. i'm afraid to get into any projects for fear i will forget and he will be late for work. i even have an alarm set in the living room, though i have no intention of napping. he's doing a practice run for his new shift. his company is fond of dry runs. i used to work for a different branch of the company, and they did the same thing there.

Tulip is doing well. doc remains non-committal about her. i suggested a couple of names. Sun Li, Kwan Li, and Starbuck. any of which i would prefer to Tulip. she's so frail, she needs a feminine name, but she's feisty, so Starbuck kind of fits. he is slowly warming up to her. he feels if he loves her like he loved Jack, he is giving up on Jack, and how to tell him, that can never happen. i have hope cats of decades ago will find me. there isn't just one place in your heart for pets, sometimes, with some people, there are a million holes, and you can keep on loving. doc is like that. so am i. i don't love or cry any less for Chloe, or Henry just because it has been years since they passed years ago. i still hear the noise Henry used to make on the drawer of the sideboard. he will figure it out.

i'm telling you, though, i'm going to cuddle that cat tonight. i've ignored her for 24 hours except for the occasional molestation by her, or pet from me and medication time. she is so starved for attention, i had to force feed her the nutri paste because she was too distracted by me to eat it on her own. she didn't mind. didn't fight. i reached over and opened her mouth and squirted it in. she just swallowed and meowed at me.

so i found a publisher to approach, once i am ready to submit my work for publication, if i ever am. i might just publish myself and get ISBN numbers so will sell them. it's costly, but saves a lot of aggravation and lets me stay in control. i don't want to have to rely on anyone else for formating and promotion and design and editing. MY work. I want to do it. just like i will put out my own CDs. once i am ready. that will take . . . i don't know, i haven't tried out my microphone yet (yes, i know, wastededucation, you only sent me that a few years ago). with the laptop i can find a room with good acoustics that is quiet and record in there. the mixing and finishing i have to learn how to do myself. i have the programs to do it with, it's just a matter of teaching myself.

anyway, this publisher, asks that you read one book they have published before approaching them. and in your introduction letter to them, you tell them which book and what you thought of it, what it made you feel. i dig that. that made me want to submit work to them. so i have that to think about. i already know which book i'm going to buy. it's by Daphne Gottleib. i saw here here with the Spit Sisters about 10 years ago and i wouldn't mind getting to know her work better.

the thing about all the black cats, you can't see them at night on the cam. or in the dark hallway, for that matter. one gets them obscured, the other, punted.

okay, it's almost 9. i have time to go out and have a smoke and then spend 2 hours on my poetry before i have to wake doc up. then, if i want to continue through the night, i can. but i doubt i will want to. i may do some recording. i know i've been saying that, but i found a couple pieces today that i REALLY want to perform and have out there. i'm sure i'll find more over the next two hours.

have a good evening. something tells me this isn't goodnight, i'll be all full of thoughts and words after i spend an hour in my head of the last decade. oh, and i found a copy of that one piece i thought i'd lost, "Suicide in the Rain". i was so excited to see it, i didn't even read it. i just stashed it away.

" . . . i never had to knock on wood . . . "