September 26th, 2013

2013, cyd, new

pyjam. . . pajam . . . jammies

i finished going through the two bags of clothes i brought back from storage. mostly tshirts i won't wear, but my collection of stretched out, soft as baby skin white v-neck tshirts was there. joy! i also found a pair of pants i had forgotten about, a pair i refer to as my "babies". they are skin tight black satin stretch, oh so yummy. the cut is a bit out of date but i will still wear the shit out of them. i also found a pair of cargo pants made out of what feels like silk that kelli gave me a long ass time ago. they feel like pyjamas. those and a black long john shirt i cut up long ago are my outfit for the day.

then i vacuumed and cleaned the kitchen. i straightened my hair last night, so i didn't have to do it today. i have to find a place to put all those clothes. i guess i'll hang them up.

i now officially have a shit ton of clothes. i don't even know if i'll get new boots and jeans this winter, maybe i'll wait until spring when the boots are on clearance. or maybe my ebay sales will go well and i can get the boots now-ish. not a priority anymore. all the pants i found go with my doc marten's.

it feels good to take off my jammies and get dressed every day. i get to show it off when i take the dog for a walk. the other night when i took him out a bit early, the whole neighborhood was out, i swear. i said hello so many times, the word started to lose its meaning.

i did some research online and found out Chewy is a Border Terrier. and from the look of the pictures i found, he is not a mix. i still can't account for his mellow demeanor. all the sites i saw said he's supposed to be hyper. he's just needy. he has his moments of freak out. where he runs around like a mad monkey and barks at the cats. and he gets all worked up when i'm getting ready for walks. but mostly he just lays here. waiting to be called over for pets.

after watching SNL saturday night last, i got Kanye West's Yeezus LP. i don't understand how i can hate everything i know about the man and love his music so much. it frustrates me. why can't he be like his music all the time and ditch the bimbo and stop being an ass so i can feel better about his music? oh, right, it's his life. meh. i just can't resist the industrial sound he's got going on this record. so far, "Black Skinhead" is my favorite. i still don't know the words, i'm going purely on the music.

my mood ring is lime green right now, i wonder what that means. it should mean anxious. doc told me, after the stealing shit, that if i ever found myself in desperate need and i found his stash and took some, to weigh it and tell him about it afterwards. so i'm going to tell him when he gets home. and despite what he said, i am expecting him to freak out. but it isn't like i tried to be sneaky about it. i weighed out the bag and marked down the new weight, it isn't like he wouldn't recognize my writing. i just had a really bad night and went through my stash. i'm much better today, and if he decides i don't get any today because of the half gram i took, that's fair and i can deal with it. i just hope there is no rage. i can't take the rage. anger i can handle. rage scares me. but i did exactly what he said. so hopefully it won't be too bad.

i have the happy meal toys out and the camera and i'm ready to go once the sun gets high enough to light up my photography area. i got some good pictures of the jewelry and scrapbook paper yesterday around noon. i my goal is to get at least ten listings up today. maybe more, but i'm not going to be unrealistic, and set my goal at ten. this all gives me time to sober up so i don't fuck up the listings.

doc and i are going to work in the garage again today. some stuff needs to be repacked, some stuff needs to be thrown out and some stuff needs to be donated. i'm in charge of this. he is in charge of the heavy lifting. and moving around of stuff. he did stuff out there yesterday after i got the stuff out i needed and cleared a way for him. there are two things i am most looking forward to finding, my sewing kit and the box of my photographs. and i'm pretty sure they are in the same box. they are both approximately the same size.

people are looking at my auctions, good. the more they look, the more likely someone is to buy.

i'm going to go check some happy meal prices, i think some of the sets i have are worth upwards of $20. i don't want to overprice anything and screw myself out of selling it, but i don't want to undervalue it either, the collectors of these things are ruthless. the last time i sold some of these a couple of different people tried to screw me out of a lot of money to get a hold of them. i'm pretty sure that's why i stopped selling them, i just got so upset about the whole thing. now i'm a little more resilient and not so desperate for sales. i'm in no hurry to make the sales, when it happens, it happens. the important thing is that i'm finally getting them listed, instead of them just taking up space in my garage. i have a tub of them here, and another tub of them in storage. and then there are the Phantom Menace toys i no longer want any part of. those are worth something, inexplicably. i guess it's because taco bell got really creative with their product designs.

what do you think of rumors (well, i guess it's true now) of the new Star Wars movie, with, did i hear this right? The original trio in their original roles . . . . ? i look forward to seeing Harrison Ford in anything. it would be nice to see Carrie Fisher in a movie again. she's been out of things for a while, but i get it. she gained all this weight and didn't know what to do with herself. been there. disappeared myself. i get it.

doc won't be home for two hours. i have time to watch NCIS, yay! we tried to watch it together yesterday, but we kept talking to each other over it and said fuck it. now i'll watch it without him, he's probably watched it already and is holding onto spoilers.
2013, cyd, new

My tweets

2013, cyd, new

wait to purr

i think i'm getting a new daughter tomorrow. doc and i talked about it, i think, and he agrees with me. he needs a cat. since jack left we have adopted cats that have bonded with me and not him. and jack was his cat. and though he's not looking to replace jack, he does want someone who will help fill the void and cuddle with him. so i came up with the idea of a kitten, he came up with the idea of a female. we looked on the adoption site and found two. he fell in love with one of them. a precocious little girl named Tulip. he's going to go look at her tomorrow. her and Shade, another darling black kitten. the adoption fees on black cats of any age have been cut in half until the end of the week. and i don't think he should pass this up. she's going to be his cat, he's going to name it and sleep with it and make it his own. i just want him to have something to cuddle. i see the hurt in him whenever major comes up to me and insists i pet him and then rebuffs doc.

having a kitten around will be chaos. it will be fun. having something little to chase the other cats and the dog around. and someone to play with all of the cat toys we have.

i finally sent kelli her birthday present from two years ago, luckily she likes it. i'm so bad at sending things. need to adjust that for the ebay sales.

Chewy is whining in his sleep. so cute. someday i'm going to capture that noise. i also want to capture Major's meow. he has such a great meow. deep and heartfelt, not high and whiny. and his howl is like a requiem. i love that cat. now if he and Chewy just got along. they have no problem being close to each other when it comes to cuddle-with-mommy-time. but Major tends to bully Chewy. he snuggles up to Chewy and then slaps him around. precious, but not for Chewy.

so doc didn't flip out on me. we discussed that my taking from his stash won't become a habit, which it won't and since i came to him and told him, he was glad we could have honesty in our relationship. the only thing he wished was that i had called him at work and told him i was doing so badly. next time i will. and i will remember to smoke his bowl before i go for the stash.

then, later, he said "no" to me about something and i started to react with my gut, i.e. badly. i stopped, assessed what was going on and redid my reaction to a more reasonable tone. BIG step for me. i felt so much better afterward. not letting the blind anger take over me and wear me out was a good thing. i didn't have to waste time calming down after. and most importantly, doc and i didn't get into a conflict over it.

today was payday and our bills are paid for the month so we got a chinese take out feast for lunch. and dinner, i packed some up for him for work, in case he's in the mood for it again. we had the choice of three entrees from a list, and he let me choose all three. bonus! now the fridge is full of take out containers and i have a stack of fortune cookies to eat.

i'm sitting here lamenting i have nothing to do, when it turns out i have lots to do on the computer. i have cam images to go through. when my archives are ready for me, i want to be ready for them. plus it's a good habit to be in, going through the images. i have to backup digital cam images and video. i made a video of Chewy on his walk the other day. if it weren't only interesting to me, i would have put it on youtube, but i don't think anyone else will appreciate his cute based on this video. i just want to remember. so much of my life is undocumented. and the more images i can get of the pets, the better.

one more night
little girl
one more night
in this cold cage
one more night
in this noisy room
then he'll come
and he'll pick you up
and he'll hug you
and you'll know
this is your daddy
no more cold cage
no more noisy room
just one more night
wait to purr