September 20th, 2013

2013, cyd, new

okay, i'm lost

i downladed the font applications, as instructed, from fontfreak.com. i clicked on it. it installed all sorts of shit, but not the font, as far as i can tell, there is no font in there. i'm confused. okay, i see, buried are links to the zip files. lord what a process. i've been through the site twice and about to go in for the third time. i don't think i'll be sleeping tonight. i'm determined to do this.

it's friday! two straight days of doc! who would have thought months ago that i would say that? who would have thought it 6 weeks ago?

it's chilly outside again. it's delicious. whenever i start to drift off into a font-haunted sleep, i go out and sit in the cool air and wake up. nothing better.

something strange when we went to storage, there is an unstrung electric guitar there. in a really nice soft case. we left it there. we don't know what to do with it. i think it was left there 10 years ago by my ex-girlfriend, who used to share the locker with us. so we came out ahead.

okay, now that i've figured this out, i want to get through "M" before dawn. i have 2.5 hours.
2013, cyd, new

i don't Feel stabby . . .

i can't stop crying. everything triggers me. after not crying for two years, this is an adjustment. usually i'm not like this until doc gets home, then i cry at everything he says. damn medications. stabilize my moods, sure, i don't feel stabby, but this weeping thing is getting old. keeps messing up my glasses when the tears bounce off my eyelashes.

i am font successful! it's taking forever, but it's worth it.

i got some sleep, a couple of hours. i'll sleep this afternoon and let doc have the computer for a while.

the chilly has worn off outside, now it's a temperature i can live with all the time in comfort. pretty soon it will be this temp all day. it will be weird to transition from cold inside/hot outside to the opposite. the heater will make the house smell funky. it doesn't matter how well you clean and how often you change the vents, the furnace will have its smell.

i had a copy of Live's Lightning Crashes, and i put it on my play list flash drive. turns out the version i had was overlayed with reports and excerpts from 9/11. that made me cry, a lot. of course so did 'til tuesday's Voices Carry. if i start weeping to Hungry Like the Wolf, there is a bigger problem here.

sunday november 3rd is the Animal Foundation's family picknick and 5k run. i want to go to the family picnic and socialize Chewy. i also want to socialize Chewy tonight at the Pup Crawl. Yappy hour is dog friendly. there's even free yappetizers for the pups. i am going to give him a bath anyway today, i could get him all cleaned up and ready to go. wash his harness and find the matching leash.

okay, i'm crying to Pat Benatar's Heatbreaker, it's time to get stoned. i can't handle these feelings, i freely admitt it. i will not sit here and cry all damn day.

please pardon my sporadic cam behavior. i'm getting used to having it around. i'm working on bringing it with me when i leave the room for any length of time, and staying on it. i smoked on it at the beginning of this new incarnation of it, but i don't do that anymore. talking about getting stoned is one thing, smoking weed on cam is a whole other commitment that takes less sense than i have. i'm an advocate, not an idiot.

i should make some new icons for here. it's been a long long long time since i updated them. and i have my new straight blonde locks to show off.
2013, cyd, new

My tweets

2013, cyd, new

retail therapy for the poor

it sickens me how some people thrive on melodrama. i'm not like that. am i? you'd tell me, right? i try not to be. i try to avoid drama, i hope, i mean, that's my aim. i know i'm negative in here a lot but this is my journal, it's me laid out. so i'm all sides here. but i hope i'm not a drama addict like the people i know. i just don't understand why everything has to be the most difficult and the most extreme.

i got through every page of fontfreak.com. i never want to do that again. i will go to other sites that aren't evil. like the one wastededucation recommended. but it was worth it. i got all the fonts i lost in the back-up mess-up. plus a good three hundred. i guess i should look up what the font limit is in Windows 7. i have about 500 to add. so far. and yes, i will use all of them. i'm very selective when i'm downloading them. i perused some 6,000. so i don't even have 10% than i could have had. heh.

it's retail therapy for the poor. downloading free fonts and stuff for photoshop. to say nothing of my downloading audio/video habit. and pinterest.com. all of these things satisfy my want of something new, something fresh to break the boredom. the same as if i went out and got a new piece of furniture or clothing. but not stuffed animal. NOTHING compares to getting a new (or used) stuffed animal. that is a thrill that cannot be equaled to me.

we're not going to the Pup Crawl tonight for Yappy Hour. there was an entrance fee, plus drinks and refreshments, and i said "blow me" to it. i'll keep taking Chewy to the dog park to socialize him with other dogs.

black cats are half off adoption fees this weekend. *sigh* whenever it gets near Halloween, i want to gather all the black cats to me so they don't get hurt. but doc is right, we can't take in another animal. i would be much better off with a hip pack and boots. but it was a nice thought. i've passed on the information best i can, and hopefully some black cats will find their forever homes next week during the event.

i've been immersed in music most of the day, and my mood is much better than it usually is at this hour. and usually i'm looking to go to sleep right about now. i'm just not interested in it tonight.

i plan to play on pinterest for a while tonight. in fact, when i'm done here. the cam is on. http://www.fabulousdisaster.com/cam/index.html and it isn't on the cat area like it was most of the early evening. it's all me, baby. calm yourself. i'm not going to pick my nose. you won't catch me!