September 18th, 2013

2013, cyd, new

Windows is silly

it put "sticky notes" on the menu but not "notepad", and i had something i needed to keep but get off the clipboard the other day. so i played along and opened "sticky notes". part of the screen turned yellow with red lines and just a lot of cuteness. i pasted my thing in it and it came up in script, handwriting, how cute. lordy. needless to say i took it off the menu and replaced it with "notepad". no nonsense, no color, just text. silly windows. maybe someday it will occur to them to make the os more stable and friendly and worry less about the cutesy shite. of course this is all out the window with Windows 8, they just jumped the shark in my opinion.

but i realize i'm getting old. i don't want a smart phone because i am intimidated by it. i don't want a tablet because i can't open it up and fix it when something goes wrong (it was hard getting me to a laptop, which i also, in theory, can't open and fix). i am resistant to the newest level of change. and it worries me. i don't mind getting old. what i mind is getting too set in my ways. i don't want to be that person. i don't want to be my mother. who wouldn't use because she was afraid of cookies on her computer. that won't be me. but i don't like the disposable world that it has become. spend more than rent on a phone that is obsolete before your lease is up. makes no sense to me. is that a sign of getting older or getting wiser? i really don't know.

riddle me this, my package left los angeles last night at 2am to come here, to las vegas, apparently it is coming by wagon train because it isn't scheduled to be delivered by saturday. rarr. if they had sent it through the post office i would have been here by now. my headphones didn't even ship until today. i ordered them friday and they promised to be here by tomorrow, i don't think they are going to make it. last purchase from walmart. i actually would have gone to the store (HA! who am i kidding? i would have sent doc), and bought them, i wanted them so bad, but they were only available online. in store pick-up was for saturday and they have all manner of surcharges with that noise. ack! and i wanted them sooner, but they wait three business days to process the order. dipshits. pay for dipshits, employ dipshits.

so if you had your lj client open at midnight, as i did, a lot of you would have just gotten a notice that tomorrow is zuma's birthday. and i was just getting over the sting of losing him. now i'm all in tears again and i can't see to type. christ.
2013, cyd, new

when you get to that e night where you just want to stab everything

you know it's time to sleep. i finally gave in and took a seroquel. i'll be less crazy tomorrow and i'll get a good night's sleep. my hydration is fine and my blood sugar is fine, it must be lack of quality sleep.

it started when i took a nap on the couch and the dog crowded me the whole time, so i slept in a weird position and woke up with a back ache. then doc had an asthma attack, which got me all nervous, because i can't do anything for him. then we cuddled and things got better. then i made him late, and i got mad at myself, which just continued when i put all the recycling out, just to look up the street and see no one else had, so i had to put it back and i cursed myself for not being able to remember a fucking week ago.

okay, does anyone else with a touch pad have problems with the cursor when trying to type? the ball of my hand always seems to be brushing against the touch pad on the laptop and activating weird mouse functions that interrupt my typing. it is most frust - jesus! it just happened again! - rating. and most weird. if the touch pad was half an inch to the right, it wouldn't be a problem. doc has the same problem when he's playing online games. his hand will brush the touch pad and he will be scrolling instead of firing. silly computer. i've found that if i keep my lj client open and move the cursor to the blank space in the corner, it isn't that much of a problem. but i can't even use Word. i'll be happily typing along and all of a sudden, a sentence will disappear.

yeah, the medicine is starting to affect me. good. at least hours of dreamless sleep is what i need. then i can get my shit together. i'll light some incense and lock the animals out of the room. no, i won't lock the animals out, i can't shut my door when no one is home. even when i'm asleep, if doc leaves, he opens my door for me so i don't wake up and freak.

the wind is kicking up tonight and things are blowing against the house. freaky . . . oooooohhh.

humus crisps, sounds interesting . . .

okay, now i want to stab my laptop, can't take this travelling cursor anymore. good night.
2013, cyd, new

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2013, cyd, new

a banner day

no fighting with doc. in fact, hugs and kisses all round. smiles and giggles. it's really quite sick. it's like we just met again.

my headphones AND my recovery disks got here today. i'm waiting until doc goes to bed to start the recovery. he's watching some spy show on the laptop right now.

oh, and Chewy pooped in the back yard! no accidents in the house, no need for a walk. we went on one anyway, we both need exercise.

and tomorrow i get paid! i have to give half of my money not for rent to my shrink. with NO help from his worthless billing bitch, we figured out he is no longer in network and that's why we were getting billed above and beyond the rather high co-pay. well, now that i know that, i will pay the bill. but i wasn't about to put out the money for shit when i didn't know what was going on. and talking to the lady i got the feeling it is not above her to just bill people with no real reason. she was the most useless cunt i've encountered in a while. fond of writing nasty notes on my bill. very unprofessional.

bah - i left my coffee on the other side of the room. good thing my headphone cord is really long! *stands up, walks over and nabs her coffee with no interruption in sound*

"what if i say i'm not like the others?"

i finally got sleep. good, deep, sleep. last night was hell. i'm so glad i didn't have the cam on me. i rolled around awake all night. got up at 5, got mad at all of the animals and recognized it as a bad sign. took my meds and went to sleep for an hour. then doc came home and we hung out for a while and he put on his shows on the laptop and i decided to go back to bed. i got 4 hours deep sleep. i feel so much better.

and i woke up and got a hug from doc. you know, if things keep going like this, we may actually celebrate our anniversary this year. it hasn't been this good for a long time. it's how i know i'm changing. he hasn't changed over the last 6 months, i have. i've come back from the land of the sick. and it's been three years since i was last committed to an institution. things are going pretty well for me and my brain.

my headphones rock for $10. they are more comfy than my last ones, even. and like i mentioned, the cord is long, and they have their own volume control. i'm very happy with this purchase. the recovery disk was actually a set of 5 disks. i would remember if those came with the laptop, they didn't. i would have found them by now, as well. i hope everything goes well with the recovery. i've been reading horror stories on message boards about recovery going badly or not finishing and leaving the owner with a paperweight.

once doc goes to bed, i will clean off the hard drive onto Blue Max. then i will prop the laptop up and start the process. in fact, to make sure the beast doesn't overheat, i'm going to put it on the desk, which i just cleaned off. that was the main problem i read about, the unit overheating in the middle of recovery and fucking everything up. that way i'll also be right next to the other computer in case something goes wrong, i can look it up and fix it.

i'm nervous. i'm so excited about having my laptop back to factory specs, i'm convinced it will not go well. and i have no reason to suspect that. the laptop is working right now, and working well. so i'm not having to pull it out of the grave to do this. i already went through that with Windows.

jesus, it's almost 8, doc is still up. if he doesn't go to bed soon, he's going to end up spending the night at home. which i don't mind, but it's sucking up his vacation days. i know he won't be able to afford to go to Cambodia this year, but he should have a few days to himself. well, then he'd have to send me to Cambodia. ack! i want to go to Viet Nam, i'm afraid of Cambodia, there is recent unrest. i wanted to go to Japan, to see where doc came from, but i'm afraid of the nuclear stuff. and lets face it, this is all academic because there is really no way i could go to Asia. i would be too scared, and there's no food i would like to eat.

it's fun to talk about, though. and it's funny, the things i want to see, he has already seen. so we wouldn't travel together which is just another reason i wouldn't go. with him, would be one thing, he knows conversational words in several Asian languages. i can't even pronounce the words, let alone remember them. he's been trying to teach me swear words in Japanese and Korean since we met. and i can't remember them or pronounce them. the only working Japanese i know, i learned from repeated watchings of Kill Bill.

though something tells me we will spend our old age somewhere in Asia. he will want to return home before he dies, and will likely want to live out his golden years there. i can deal with that, elders are respected in those cultures. i can think of no better place to grow old than Japan or Korea.

where i want to spend my middle age is England, Ireland and Holland. or here in las vegas. either way, i'm happy.

soap box time:

i think we should let the GOP run rampant over the country. let them shut down the government and whatever else damage they can do, then they will finally get voted out of office. we can't keep babysitting them and protesting them, they don't listen. we have to vote them out and that isn't going to happen until they REALLY fuck things up, so let 'em go.

i'm not being sarcastic. i'm sick of the fighting and i'm convinced that the only way to stop it is to vote these morons out of office and that isn't going to happen until everyone is able to see what damage they are willing to do to the economy, the middle class, national security . . . all that mess.

now, if only there was a way to stop the NRA. it is clear to anyone with any scrap of sanity after the Aaron Alexis shootings at the Navy Yard that background checks, as they are now, do NOT work. and anyone who denies that, after this incident, is getting blocked, banned or unfriended because i can't take that level of insanity and delusion in my life, i already have enough of my own.

/end soapbox
2013, cyd, new


the recovery went very well. there were no errors, no problems. i've started installing programs.

i think i'm going to take a break from the computer for a while and stuff some smokes.

i'm so glad this went well. by dawn, the laptop will be set up again the way i want it. all programs in place. i can't wait.