September 16th, 2013

2013, cyd, new

one less drug i have to put in my system

i saved the unpacking until later tonight/tomorrow morning. instead i went through this month's cam images. the video i made yesterday was made with images from that day, BTW. i just felt like using something current.

anyone know a good program to record from onboard webcam and USB mic? i googled, but drowned in the mess. doesn't matter if it's a free program or not, i will find a way to get it. i have Adobe Audition, does that do it? i don't want to install it if it doesn't. i'm trying not to install a lot of stuff on here until after i do the recovery (and i just got chillcam to play nice with the acer cam on here). but anyway, i need to record a trailer for my channel, i just don't know how. heh.

at some point tomorrow i have to make time to finish my current tangle. my first official one. i've been doodling vines and patterns for years, but now it has a name. i have to do it during the day because the light in here is soft and i'm working with light colored pencils. can't see well. but the light is fine for reading, which is what i'm going to do tomorrow evening while doc sleeps. i just haven't decided what, yet. if i find "Blackwod Farm" tomorrow, i'll start re-reading that. i'm in the mood for some Rice.

the computers are backed up. the archives are organized. i'm caught up with cam images. until the recovery disk gets here, there's not a lot for me to do.

once doc has gone to work, i have some light housework to do. i want to mop the tile floors in the house and sweep the patio and generally clean it up. then i'm going to go to work on the tool table in the garage. we have this 6' long table that i have been putting all the tools and hardware on that i find around the house. the house is now pretty much clear of hardware items, so it's time to organize the table. it will be so nice to be able to find everything. we have three tool boxes. three drills, and a recharger for only one of them, so far. i'll find the others. i've been gathering up stray a/c adapters, as well and it will soon be time to marry them to their tools.

i went in to get doc up to watch Breaking Bad and he opted to sleep an extra hour. good, i didn't want to watch it. the show depresses me. instead i'm watching Bad Ink. watching Dirk Vermin work makes me want hi to tattoo me even more. but i've given up on the fingerprint tat. in 20 years, it will just be a blob. so i'm back to my black cats playing with string wrapped around my arm. i need to research tattooing on scars, though because my arm pretty much IS scar tissue. that's the whole point of the tat, to take focus away from the scars. i've put a lot of thought into this. what it will look like if i gain weight, what it will look like in the future, after sun exposure, etc. if i'm going to pay someone to mark my body permanently, i'm making sure i love what i'm getting and will love it for a long time.

i'm pretty proud of myself, for the first time in 13 years, i have managed to keep the coffee table clean and uncluttered. not an easy task with doc around. he leaves a paper trail somehow of coupons and reciepts and mail and such. i've put myself in the habit of putting things away when i am done using them, as opposed to just leaving them out. a bad habit i got into in the first two years with doc. i'm trying to lead by example, but i've found it's easier and less stressful to just follow him around, picking up. he's only one person, so it's no big deal. after the cloying closeness of the apartment, packed overflowing, i am determined to keep this place clean and straight. if it means cleaning up after doc, well, he buys my tampons, who am i to complain?

wow, the time has gone really quickly. i'm going to go smoke a cigarette before i have to wake doc up for real. i still haven't decided if i'm going to sleep or stay up tonight. i've only had a few hours of sleep. but i got 8 hours yesterday or the day before. straight through, it was brilliant. for the first time in over a year. real sleep. i've stopped taking ambien altogether, it is wasted on me, and it's one less drug i have to put in my system.
2013, cyd, new

no kids, fewer dogs

sitting here watching coverage of yet another mass shooting. this time at the Navy yard in Washington. i can only be sad for our society. and the things that won't change that will be hashed out over and over in the press.

i'm glad Miss America is Indian American, it's about time someone other than Barbie represented the beautiful women of this country. i'm sure Donald Trump is ritually cutting himself to Screwdriver songs as i write this. good.

i cut the sugar in my coffee in half. it makes me drink less coffee and more water. though i am having a soda as a treat when i get back from my walk with Chewy. i'm trying to get the ambition to work out, i figure after Chewy and i get back, i will have it. i'm being a rebel and taking him for a walk in my pjs. no pockets, but i'll take my messenger bag.

it suddenly occurred to me in my hunt for a hip pack: eBay! so i looked and i found something i liked for $10 plus postage. all i have to do is get doc to set up a paypal account, and i can order myself one this week when my check gets here. it would be more expensive for me to make one, i priced out what i would need to convert my army bag into a hip pack, around $30. and the ones i found had multiple pockets, whereas my army bag is just the one compartment.

i got the shipment confirmation email last night, my recovery disk is on its way, via fedEx. yes! i hope all goes well with it. it would be really nice to have my laptop back to factory specs. and this time i won't let Windows take over.

litter boxes
work out
clean kitchen
sweep patio
unpack books
sort 9/15 cam images
stuff cigarettes

that should keep me busy after i get back from our walk.

B is supposed to come over today. he and doc have scooter repair stuff to do, parts to order, etc. i plan to be outside listening to my mp3 player and drawing.

okay, time to finish my coffee and get my walking-the-dog shit together, i plan to take him to the park this morning. i'm thinking that i'll take him to the park in the mornings and around the neighborhood in the evening. i like the morning crowd in the park much better, no kids, fewer dogs.
2013, cyd, new

My tweets

2013, cyd, new

i'm a lazy bum

i don't know what it is today. i feel lazy. i got into an argument with doc when he needed my support, and slammed off and went to bed for three hours. little did i know he needed me. when i woke up we apologized to each other and cuddled on the couch watching a documentary on China he downloaded from the BBC. i just felt like lounging all day, so i lounged with him. i asked him if it was okay if i didn't vacuum or do the dishes. he said of course. i did the litter box, fed the cats at their scheduled times and took the dog for two walks. so i didn't do nothing, just not all that i wanted to today. i didn't get any unpacking done. but doc and i are doing all right, and that is what really matters.

Chewy is really digging this two-walk-a-day thing. he's even adapting to the times, 7 am and pm. he knows the signs, like when i pick up my mp3 player, or messenger bag.

doc is going to set up a paypal account and i'm hopefully getting a hip pack on friday from ebay. if there's one i like enough. the one i found today won't be on sale anymore, but it's mass produced, so i'm hoping it will be available again. also i can FINNLLY sell off the Happy Meal Toys. i have a set of the Beanie Baby ones from the 80's. those should be worth some money. Beanie Babies have come back into popularity with collectors. the Princess Di one is worth $250,000. insane. so the special edition McDonald's ones should be worth something, i have the whole set. new in bag. yep. my mom set me up well and she didn't even know it. i just had to wait another decade (yes, i've been talking about it THAT long) for the things to be worth anything.

so now i can make some spending money. i can also sell jewelry again. i've been checking out what is in fashion, and hand made earrings are in style. lucky for me, i happen to make earrings. necklaces are simple charms on long silver chains. i can do that after i make a bit o' scratch. i have some great charms, and i can get the chain wholesale. i also have the clasps and the jump rings, so, it's a small investment to get chain, i'll get gunmetal and not spend the money on sterling. i won't make the money back if i use sterling. but with the sale of two necklaces, i can make back what i spend on gunmetal chain for 20 necklaces. that will get me my pair of boots for the winter.

actually, once a paypal account is set up again and i have access to eBay, i can do my shopping on there and and and avoid wal-mart forever and ever. i ordered my headphones from the evil empire, and swore to myself that would be my last wal-mart purchase.

then i can start working on my wishlist:

1. boots
2. jeans
3. wireless router so we can use the Kindle, and use the laptop i other rooms than the living room or dining room, and maybe out of the house?
4. printer (eventually, that has to be saved up for)
5. . . . . .

that's it, really. four things. of course there are books i want, but those can wait a while because i have all my other books back. and it will take me some time to read all of them. when i was working the high-paying catering job and lived up the street from the used book store, i really went nuts in there. i have all manner of stuff, from self-help to Oprah's book club chick fic. i've been reading through my cookbook collection. most of them are vintage cookbooks from the 50's-70's. cooking has REALLY changed. i have no modern cook books. i have the Betty Crocker cookbook, which has been around longer than i have been on this earth, but gets updated and republished every couple of years. i had to wait a long time and search hard to find one that was printed the same time as my mother's copy, so i had the same recipes. that's the only cookbook i use regularly, and mostly the recipes i use in there, i have added (it's a 5 ring binder). and the ones printed in the book i use, have usually been altered in some way to update them.

ack, stoned . . . so the point was, there is not a lot of stuff i want. there really never is. i say, "i want" all the time, but once i really think about it, i don't. my wants are few.

speaking of stoned, i'm no where near quitting, but i have cut down to a half a gram a day. if we were going to a dispensary, that would be expensive, but since i can't do that here, the barter system for the way i get it works. i help people out and they help me out. that's one of the joys of the Family. (i know i said fuck the family a couple of months ago, but that was in a fit of rage) you can trade for what you want. a spare TV here, an old laptop there. some web services (yes, i still do web design and promotion for people, just not for money ever again), cooking up goodies with provided hemp butter. i seem to be the only one in the Family who will make Edibles, so i gladly bake cookies and brownies for whomever has the butter for it. that's a nice deal for me because i'm not tempted by it. i hate hate hate hemp butter. i hate the taste, no matter how well i mask it, i can always tell, ick. and i hate the feeling of ingesting it. it just makes me tired. don't like the buzz at all. but it mellows out a party and helps sick people have appetites and people in pain not be in so much pain.

there's an upcoming harvest i know about and i'm going to be experimenting with quiche's and spanikopita with the trimmings. usually butter is made from them, but i think i can do some decent cooking with the actual leaf. i've been reading up on Mediterranean and Indian cooking, where the spicing is strong enough to drown out ost of the mary jane tangy taste. for people who like strong veg, it isn't a bad thing, but i like mellow veg like spinach and carrots. i'll see what i've come up with.

i've almost convinced doc to ask for permission from the property company to paint the kitchen cabinets and walls. the cabinets are really dark, the countertop light, and the walls white. i hate the cabinets, i'd like to switch it round, where the exposed wall of the cabinet area is dark and the cabinets are light. and keep the big wall light. and maybe find a thrift store chandelier to switch out with the old fashioned globe light that is in there now. i have to get paint swatches and draw up a plan. that's where my limited interior design training comes in handy. like i said, doc is almost convinced. we want to stay here for a while. and the property company seems to like us.

whoa, this is getting long. i wanted to get some sleep while doc slept so i could spend the night making up for the stuff i didn't do today. i can't do it while he's asleep, it all makes noise, heh. the house especially needs to be vacuumed. every day. these cats ooze fur.

have a nice evening.