September 5th, 2013

2013, cyd, new

he's little, i lose him

today was an off day. i don't know why, i just didn't feel myself. but instead of sinking into the depression that lurked at the edge of my brain, i got pissed about it. got up and walked the dog. then came home and vacuumed even though the house didn't need it.

i've come to a stand still in the garage. i can go no further until doc moves his stuff. my newfound motivation is contagious and he wants to do as much around the house as i have been. but he works. i don't. the house is my "job", if you want to call it that. i have no screaming offspring to deal with, just a nice house and a few cats and a dog that thinks he's a cat.

a friend is looking for a home for a dog that has some unknown illness. it's probably a vitamin deficiency, but there is no way to know without taking it to the vet. the people who had it didn't even have dog food. i swear people aren't worth wasting time on. we can't take the dog. even if it was healthy, we can't take the dog. i have a dog. he thinks he's a cat. the cats think he's a cat. peace here is predicated on that. and i can only handle one dog. i wish i knew of someone who could take it, though.

i think tomorrow i'll ask doc if i can order the recovery disk for the laptop. i want to get it set back up again. i haven't installed most of my work programs on the laptop because i'm waiting, and because windows live hoses them anyway. once i get the recovery disk, i can let Acer take back over my laptop instead of Windows having control. Windows has no business being in control, it is the drunkest girl at the party. i'd rather let Major control the laptop. he'd meow it into submission. *hugs the cat to shut him up*

speaking of Major, we're thinking he is a "special" cat. he's not clever, he's not coordinated and he meows for me constantly unless i'm holding him or he's eating. he's just a bit slower than the other cats. that just makes him more precious to me. i spoil and dote on him. even the other cats look out for him. and he and Vader get along famously. thankfully he doesn't have the wanderlust that Vader has. in fact he is opposed to going outside. that makes things easier, because i don't think i trust him to get home safely. i mean, this is the cat from the shelter with a BB embedded in his shoulder.

i think i'll take a seroquel and sleep tonight. i've been sleeping in spurts and fits, but i'm having fits while i'm sleeping and having all manner of nightmares and waking up constantly paranoid. i can't take it. i need solid sleep. i need to wake up wondering what day it is. i think i will do that tonight. i slept while doc did this evening, but i think i'm off because i need 8 uninterrupted hours at least once a week.

i let doc sleep until he had to get into the shower. so i didn't get any time with him tonight. bummer. but usually we go over what i need to get done while he's at work, and there is nothing to do. i've been doing my chores and his. the only reason i've not taken over the yard work is because i know that he really enjoys working in the yard and i don't want to take that away from him.

where's my dog? oh, that's right, he stayed out back when i last came in. he's little, i lose him. what can i say?
2013, cyd, new

stop picking at that

i feel much better today. i wish i could say it was due to a good night's sleep, but if you looked at the cam last night, you will know i did not have that. i lay awake, tossing and turning and hallucinating. i stayed in bed, though. well, i got up to get my comforter when i got really cold (have i mentioned my room is a cave?). other than that, i stayed in bed, determined to go to sleep. i was so relieved when i heard doc come home at 6:30am and i finally had a reason to get up. i got up, hung out with him, and took chewy for a walk. when we got back, doc was asleep on the love seat. i'll let him sleep until 11 or so and then get him up for a few hours. i want him to work on the garage today.

if he spends just an hour in there today, i can spend 3 in there tomorrow. my quest is the keys to storage. along with my books, there is a bag of skinny clothes that i can wear now that has two pair of pants i've never been able to wear. hell, after this long, the whole storage locker will be like xmas morning.

doc and i got in an argument yesterday about something totally stupid. i want him to go to Cambodia or Viet Nam or both and take some time off. he wants to get me new teeth. both are very expensive and both will have huge positive effects on us. we argued about what to do first. we're saving money for a big thing. i want it to be a trip for him first. the only down side is that there is the possibility, no matter how small, that he won't come back. of course if i had teeth and he decided to stay in Asia, i could find someone new. i'm conflicted. we're conflicted. we have time to decide. the way things have been, saving money has been hard. so we have time to decide who gets fixed first.

i refused yesterday to go to the dentist. they are just going to pull the bad tooth, it's too loose to fix. and i would rather live on Ensure and scrambled eggs than be missing another damn tooth. the pain is subsiding, so aside from not being able to bite into anything, i'm not bothered by it.

this is usually my most active time of the day, and doc is asleep, so i really can't do anything. i could sweep the patio and walkway outside and clean my room ("clean my room" - fold a comforter and put it in the closet). oh! and i can wire my headphones back together. i forgot to do that last night. i wonder if there's laundry to wash. i could pick all my clothes out of the laundry basket and wash them. that will take place down the hall, so it won't wake doc up.

he's in trouble. he brought home Sonic this morning and brought me nothing. he even got mozzarella sticks and didn't share them with me. when he gets up he's going to get me breakfast, so i have until then to decide what i want. wait, we got ads/coupons yesterday, that will help me decide. though let's face it, i want Sonic and they just don't offer enough coupons to keep me supplied.

i'm having a thought: i saw this updated fanny pack:, and i'm thinking of making one for myself. i won't carry a purse and i don't always need my rucksack. so i have this army bag, and this webbing belt, and i am thinking of sewing one to the other. it would be so nice to have. "fanny pack", hee hee hee, "fanny" means vagina in Britain. how about "hip pack"? yes. that sounds better.

time to get up and move. i will die a horrible death if i sit here any longer, i can sense it.
2013, cyd, new

My tweets

  • Wed, 16:17: in 20 minutes it went from sunny and nice to cloudy with a chance of flash floods. gotta love monsoon season!
  • Wed, 16:34: never give a manic depressive person a mood ring.
  • Wed, 16:52: i'm thick, remind me again why we are blaming Obama for Iraq? idiots.
  • Wed, 23:58: When did world peace become synonymous with world domination?
  • Thu, 00:10: 1 thing the history books don't clearly say: what the fuck happened in Europe in the middle ages that made white people feel so entitled?
  • Thu, 00:15: RT @allthewayleft: If it's so obvious and self-evident that God exists, why proselytize at all? People would join churches with no promptin…
  • Thu, 00:45: he's little, i lose him
  • Thu, 08:30: what day is today? it's Burn Notice day!!
  • Thu, 09:06: stop picking at that