August 5th, 2013

2013, cyd, new

did i post yesterday?

i suppose i could go look. but we all know i'm too lazy.

nothing is new today. rent is paid. we may get through the week with nothing getting shut off. at the end of the week we can pay all the bills. then i will breathe a sigh of relief until my check gets here and i have to put half of it towards meds and the rest to rent and web host. though web host shouldn't count. it's a pittance. if you're paying too much (more than $5 a month) for your domain, go to and wise up.

commercial over. i am not encouraged to push products on here. anything i recommend, i really have used and liked or loved. i try to be honest on here. it's easier with product recommendations than it is with personal stuff. heh.

doc wakes up in ten minutes. if we're lucky. i finally got him to sleep in my room so i could fucking relax out here. i hate it when he sleeps on the couch and i have to be quiet for 6 hours. i can't be quiet for that long. it is psychically and physically impossible for me. it seems like everything i do makes noise. except go outside. well, going outside makes noise, but i'm quiet when i'm out there. mostly.

chewy is whining. he is in jail. i took him out to go potties and he peed, puked and then came in and shit. no. wrong order. so a spanking and an hour in the kennel in the dark. am i cruel? i don't spank him hard, i mostly go for the noise instead of the pain. i discovered when i was much younger watching my dad spank my dog that i learned you have to hurt yourself to hurt a dog. so i don't spank him hard. i mostly talk to him harshly, "bad dog", "no potties in the house" and that sort of thing. it kills me to hear him whine.

time to wake doc up.

i may write more later. i may even write a poem tonight. my dreams today were very purging, i feel kind of empty and ready to be filled.