May 23rd, 2013

2013, cyd, new

and a great thursday morning to you

since i posted about my headphones, they have worked fine. i guess they took the threat of being taken apart seriously.

it's 2:30am and i'm up still. i may take a nap in an hour. Red has to get up at 6 to get finished packing. she's leaving around 9. i'll get to meet the guy she's getting a ride with and take pictures of his truck and license plate and him. just to be safe. she IS getting into a car for 6 hours with her dog and a stranger. but i'm not worried, he seems like a really nice guy. he just got out of the Air Force. and he's been calling and keeping in touch with Red as he travels across the country.

we said our heartfelt sloppy sentiments tonight. i told her i knew i was getting a house mate, but had no idea i would get a good friend. we both started to cry. girls. you know how it is.

i got a really bad case of the hiccups tonight. and my ribs didn't hurt! i'm finally better. i think i did good with this injury. i took my medicine and didn't whine about it. once it was diagnosed and taken care of. stupid hospital emergency room. i have to call the ambulance company tomorrow and give them my insurance info. i'll be damned if i'm paying $1,014 for a bet IV needle and a ride. i'll pay the $50 co-pay without complaint.

the shrink search continues. tomorrow we widen the search. we're going to end up with a doctor in fucking Reno at this rate. there just aren't enough shrinks to go around in this town. too many people are fucking nuts. granted, we should have started this quest a few months ago, but we didn't and now are paying the price. i even called a doctor i'd been to before and didn't like, she had no new patient appointments until august. ugh.

the tornado was an act of terrorism by god. that is the long and the short of it, if you're going to believe in god. i'm sickened by christians like Falwell who claim that the people in OK didn't pray enough or weren't faithful enough and that's why it happened. no. it happened because it happens every year. natural disasters are disasters because we've built and inhabited every part of this country, no matter the risks. mudslides, hurricanes, earthquakes, tornadoes. we are arrogant and think these things will not happen to US. but they happen to a lot of people. that is what living on a planet will do. it goes about its business not caring about us. and face it, we don't care much about it. we take it for granted.

and the attack in london has me sick, too. another example of religious doctrine taken and used to kill. fucking bullshit. we would be better off without religion, if only to get rid of the fundamentalists that are dangerous. religion preys on the weak minded and weak willed. and that's where we come up with the problems. fanatics who take things either literally or twist them to fit their own delusions of grandeur. fucking sick shit. is where you can do the most. a prayer is nice, and if it makes you feel better while you donate a few dollars, all the better. but prayer didn't keep the tornado from killing and destroying, it isn't stopping republicans from calling for offsets for any aid. fuck that. i only had $10 to give and that leaves me broke until june 25th, but i don't care. if enough people do a little, it adds up to a lot.

i'm trying to get information on shelters in the area, and will post that info if i find it, if you want to wait and donate to them instead of the red cross. not just people lost life as they know it that day. a lot of animals did, too. help will be needed and no matter what, the government will not help with that.

Red has made me more aware of the needs of animals in this country. and the need to help shelters everywhere, not just in my community. i'm not going to become an activist or anything. i still believe in testing on animals, i would support testing on humans if it were legal. i'd rather have hair dye tried on a human than a rabbit, but i'll take what science has for me. and i still love the circus.

my play list is stuck in the mid 80s tonight. unreal. i always load all 372 songs into windows media player and hit "shuffle" so i get a random sampling of the music. it seems to have put all the 80s stuff together. Ultravox, Blue Nile, Yaz . . . past after past.

which finger do you use your touch pad with? i use my right middle finger. the index finger doesn't seem to do it for me. i can't steer with it. funny, that was my nose picking finger when i was a kid. now it's the most coordinated digit i use.

okay, so . . . time to go make a video or do something creative. i'm dying to create something. it's been brewing in me for the past hour or so and now i've had a cup of coffee and a couple of smokes and i'm ready to go. i also need to escape this nostalgia onslaught my media player has going right now.

have a fan-fucking-tastic day. i insist.
  • Current Music
    Hayzee Fantayzee - Shiny Shiny
2013, cyd, new

some of my links

new video - Can't Be Everything -

random video - kitty cat roll call - - just a dinner time video of the cats gathering. i was bored and don't use my camera enough.

my last video of milo - - i should have kept the camera rolling on this one, after the hosing, which he clearly did not like, he went down and lay in the loose dirt. so he got hosed a second time and turned into an absolute brat. Red completely lost patience with him. now he's dry and a light tan from the dirt. i know who's getting a bath when he gets to his new home, heh.

video - From the Vicious to the Rotten -

i just went through my past few entries and discovered my tweets are not always being posted here, so you don't have the links. you could just search "cydniey" on that will land you on my channel.

you can also hear me on, but don't ask me how it works. it took me three hours to make a page and upload half my stuff, but i haven't taken the time to figure out how to use the site to listen to anything. it all started because i wanted to set up at, and that of course is tied to and the whole thing just baffled me. the price of shameless self promotion.
2013, cyd, new

My tweets

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2013, cyd, new

no milo, no Red, no pants


Red is gone. she's actually been gone since 10 this morning, but i've been busy running around since then. she left the most amazing video of milo on my facebook wall. she talks about me throughout. it's so touching. i so cried like a puss. i couldn't help it. go, there, watch it, you'll see what i mean.

the cats are all laid out on the couches and chairs. doc is watching a movie on the computer and drinking lager. NCIS is on as usual, but other than it and the whine of this poor computer, it is eerily quiet. so strange. the place seems so empty. and big. now we have this big empty furnished bedroom and only two people and no big dog . . . weird. will take some time to get used to. i think it will actually take time to really accept she is gone and not coming back. maybe when she calls from her destination it will hit me. i don't know. maybe not until tomorrow morning when doc comes home and we start the day alone with each other. i miss her.


doc and i went to Trader Joe's and i got some spanikopita and a salmon fillet to cook for dinner. i can't wait. we went to look for a good lager for him. he found one, and a nice bottle of cheap wine to boot.

this weekend we are moving everything against one living room wall and moving it over six inches. and then putting a small desk next to this one for the printers and the cats to lay on (there is a lower shelf for them). this living room really is huge. and i think i'll move some boxes out of my room and store them in the spare room closet for now. until i get another set of utility shelves for my stuff in the garage. and we are vacuuming. it has been windy this week and the house is so-o-o-o-o-o-o-o dusty. and so full of cat fur.

i sat back and realized i'm all done with my computer busywork. so i made a list of additional things to do. added a few old things to it that have been put on burners so far back i lost sight of them.

i know eventually i'm going to have to sleep. but every time i sit down to relax, i think of something that needs to be done and i rush off and do it. i've gotten up three times just writing this to go and do stupid little shit. tidying up and such.

we got 5 pounds of shredded mozarella cheese today for $10. i was so happy. deal of the year. i put it into smaller bags and put most of it in the freezer. that will last me a long ass time. we also got this tried-but-failed "chocolate flavored" hazelnut spread. 2 pints for $2. couldn't turn it away for that. with the right peanut butter, i won't know the difference from Nutella. shopping with doc is fun. he knows where in the stores that they hide the clearance and damaged stuff. we spent $30 and got 6 big bags of groceries. and we didn't even mean to. we went into the store for toilet paper. go figure.
2013, cyd, new

Howler is not Howler, is Evie

yes, we changed the poor cat's name back to Evie. doc discovered, quite by accident, that she answers to it. so there you go. she chose her name, after all.

i just figured out why i can't go to sleep. i've been up for what feels like days. maybe it has been. anyway, i'm waiting for Red to get to her new home and call me. she's two hours late, now. i think i'm going to call her at 8 and make sure everything is okay.

went over to see B today. big relief he doesn't have cancer. we went over to celebrate the good news and visit and such. then we did all the running around. then we came home and hung out for a while and then cooked our respective dinners.

the salmon was actually steel head trout, i've no idea why it was so pink. but it was oh, so good. and if you like such things, Trader Joe's brand frozen Spanikopita is worth the money. it is delicious. as good as what i make. that impresses me because i am very particular.

yeah, i'll definitely call Red at 8. worst case scenario, i can't get ahold of her. best case, i can relax and get a couple hours sleep before having to feed the cats and get doc up for work. then, after he goes to work, i can sleep all night out here on the futon.

tomorrow i clear out my room. it is claustrophobic in there with the bags of winter clothes and boxes of xmas stuff. i also have to clean an unreasonable amount of cat vomit off the floor. simon and his poor stomach. we're getting him a nutritional supplement this weekend, and i'm upping the wet food feedings. it's the dry food he's yarking up. i can't pill him alone, Red was my partner in that. and if doc is involved, with simon's neurosis, it becomes an 8 person job to keep control of him.

evie is wandering around the house looking for milo. they were buddies. doc said today (to evie, of course, not directly to me) that if evie is very good he will get her a new doggie buddy to play with. yes!! we're going to get a dog! not for a while, we have to save up to get a kennel and dishes and vet money and that sort of thing, but he's open to the idea of a dog.

we'll go and find a rescue dog. i'm so excited. we will wait until we find the right one, not look for any particular size or breed. we can fit the kennel in the living room so the dog has a safe place away from the cats but near us to be. i'm so happy. doc needs a dog. he wanted so badly for milo to love him. and in his own way, milo did. but he wouldn't come to doc and rarely let doc pet him. milo is a great protector and dog, but he's very skittish with people, even with Red.

but doc and dogs are like fettuccine and alfredo. he is so much happier with a dog around to spoil and train and walk and snuggle with. i want one for security. the bars on the windows and doors aren't enough for me. i want a panting alarm system. i also want something to take to the dog park. and for walks . . . oh wow. excitement and anticipation. have to wait until we find one good with cats, or one that is mellow and can be trained to be good with cats, cuz they will beat the shit out of it if it steps out of line.

i'm almost out of smokes. my hope is to run out and pass out around the same time. doc will bring more home in the morning. we went through three cartons in record time, the three of us. we all smoked way too much together. because we sat outside so much just yapping away and smoking was something to do with our hands.

my eyes are crossing, even though the coffee has got my mind and body wired. i feel like i could run a mile, if i could just see. and let me tell you, typing is a fucking trip like this. the words are on top of each other, slightly offset. two of each. i think maybe some eyedrops and some cold water in the face would do me wonders.

please let Red be safe and milo be safe and J be safe. i'll know in 20 minutes. time for a smoke. if i can get the door open, heh.
2013, cyd, new


i just talked to J. he and Red got in okay. they had a bit of bother with the packing job, but other than that they are safe. she's probably lost in cigarettes and coffee and taking care of milo and will call soon.

i did that cold water thing and i feel wide awake, my eyes finally uncrossed. now i'm afraid to go to sleep because i'm afraid i'll sleep until the alarm goes off and only have a half an hour to get my ducks in a row before waking up doc. that is not enough time. i i know i will be disoriented when i wake up . . . no. i'll stay up until he leaves at 1:15.

i want to make a video, but i don't want to look at myself. heh. every time i hear miles bark next door, i think it's milo wanting to come in. ugh. so yeah, make a video. i've got 14 pieces to choose from. and thousands of pictures, literally. no two the same. lordy.

the cats seem lost without milo. especially evie. so sad. felix is in a foul mood, i let him out because he was growling at everyone for no reason. their buddy is gone.

when we get a dog, it will have short fur. that i know.