December 9th, 2012

2013, cyd, new

not a punk kind of post

wow, yeasterday was a roller coaster. i should probably go back and read my entries. between the a.m. drunk and the xanax and all the stuff that happened.

doc and i got into an argument. no big deal. some things went down and he came out of it not looking like such the good guy. so, it was on his mind much later on, after i had forgotten about it, when i mentioned talking to the shrink about a group home. because he didn't really react. and later on, apologized to me profusely over it. he NEVER apologizes. i didn't think it was any big deal. no one go abused or stabbed, loud words were exchanged.

speaking of stabbed, i broke the tip off the knife last night when i was stabbing the pizza. and it was one of the good knives. not great, but the better of what we have. so i apologized profusely over that.

i slept and watched muppets most of the day. except when i inflicted some social distortion and horton heat on doc for a while. he didn't mind, i played only stuff he was familiar with.

oh wow, it's 6 already. i hope the sunrise is photo worthy. i haven't taken a picture of anything in a while. days. i posted two of jack on twitter yesterday, but they had been sitting on my camera.

one of the cats peed on the floor in my room by the litter box. time to do the litter box. i'll do that when i'm done here. then maybe a hot bath. my bathtub is nice and sparkly and i have this strawberry/pomegranate bath stuff to use that i got at the dollar store. well, doc got it for me. i haven't been to a dollar store since july. in fact, aside from a shrink appointment and the trip to see the lights, i don't think i've been out since july 4th. but what a party that was. heh.

i have hurt my nose with all of the blowing and the tissue and the napkins and the stuff. i stopped taking sudafed because i am running out and it's a real pain in the ass to get some when you are missing three teeth. doc has trouble getting it and he's clean cut. the pharmacists here need to calm the fuck down about one box of sudafed. if it were more than one box at a time, i could see the hassle and the judgement and the evil eye. but one box? a year? because they have a record of my purchases of it, or doc's purchases of it, i should say. and he buy's allergy meds from the same people all the time. i understand meth is a problem here. but really.

i have to sneeze and doc's on the couch asleep.nope, didn't wake him up. lucky this time. i had a coughing fit about an hour ago and it actually prompted him to get up and bring me cough syrup where i was feeding lelu in the kitchen. but i think he was still asleep. he was lurching a little bit and he definitely does not lurch in waking mode.

i looked into the charity i wanted to, that i thought could help me find a job. they only work with the blind and the mentally retarded. so no help there. i'm going to have to dumb down my act and beat feet for this on my own. it all depends on me getting my scooter back. which i keep hearing is "soon". the neighborhood is great to learn to ride in. no traffic, some curves, and lots of straight wide roads.

okay, i'm grabbing my camera, smokes, coffee and bundling up to go out and photograph the sunrise. if i get anything good it will be posted on twitter @cydniey and with any luck, mirrored on facebook at kristin.c.egger (stop making fun of my last name, why do you think i changed it?).

everyone have a great sunday, however you spend it, spend it well and with love and happiness.
2013, cyd, new

My tweets

2013, cyd, new

"stars shining up above you . . . dream a little dream of me"

i'm fucking exhilarated! what a dream. everything worth remembering about everything that needs forgetting was in this dream.

i'll be quick, i know the dreams of others are borig, so i'll just hit the main points before i forget them. we were on a small street. the double down saloon was next to the corner and next to that on the corner was a two story punk restaurant where the patrons of the double down ate. i was hired as waitstaff. not knowing that there was no chef and each member of the waitstaff was expected to cook the food for their own table. the menu was simple, mostly munchie food for drunks. i was in heals and running around from place to place it was fucking amazing. i woke up with the biggest adrenaline rush. i'm still shaking.

do i want to go back into the kitchen again? i knew in my dream that the owner would have to hire a chef and i somehow knew that would be me.

i kept lucid dreaming so every time i almost woke up i went back to the dream for a long time. it was great.
2013, cyd, new

baths and cats and stuff, oh my

the sweat runs down my face like tears
the steaming hot water soothes
lavender floats up to me
i lean back
and fall asleep

ahhhhhhhh. doc brought home lavender bath foam for me tonight. and he turned up the temp on the water heater so i just had the hottest bath possible. i took a brief nap. he came home and left in the meantime. he's been running around all day. running errands, visiting with people. all the stuff he won't get to do well when his schedule changes and he becomes nocturnal like me.

each of the cats came in to visit me in the bath. simon was most concerned about it when he saw me soaking in the bubbles. he had a lot to say about it. he has a really nice meow. very pure. soft, yet forceful. i love it when he talks. freddie only poked her head in, she's obviously been in a bath before and hasn't liked it at all, she is terrified of it. jack came in and knocked shit over on the counter. i can always count on jack for entertainment.

something about that argument yesterday has changed doc. he apologized Again for it today. and he said he's going to try to go get me the tree i wanted for xmas. i'm pretty sure they'll be sold out and i'm okay with that, but he's trying. he also brought me home chocolate pudding.

he also mentioned going to the special dollar store to get cat collars and toys.

we're going to get Kongs for the boy's two dogs for xmas. i don't know that we'll get the boys anything, we don't have the cash and neither do they. but the dogs are special.

this day was nice and long. it's the first sunday i've enjoyed in a really really long time. NCIS was on in the background all day and i got some napping in and spent two hours of quality time with felix on the couch watching the sunday morning news shows. well, listening to them. my eyes were closed. i was trying to nap but it didn't work.

i can't decide what music i'm in the mood for. maybe i'll browse my 80s folder, it's been a long time since i went through that and i'm sure there are some treasures.

i also have to play "Dream a Little Dream", Farscape episode so i can hear Ben Browder sing a verse of that song. in my dream today, a full version of him singing it was on the jukebox. i literally woke with a song in my heart.

time to go stuff some cigarettes, i smoked all the ones i had in the bath. as long as i keep the door cracked and the vent on, i can smoke while i bathe. house rule. hee.