November 19th, 2012

2013, cyd, new

My tweets

  • Sun, 15:19: so, will new york be rebuilt before NOLA? i'm gonna bet "yes".
  • Sun, 20:07: "a final note from a dying song"
  • Mon, 07:23: RT @criminaluk: A big shout out to Street Voice UK for an epic review of Argonaut's album, out today! Check out the link. You... http:// ...
  • Mon, 08:22: i don't take the side of the Palestinian or the Israeli. i cannot side with the illogical. i just think it's another theist damn shame.
2013, cyd, new


i went back to bed before doc left for work. i woke up at 4 with a feeling of AAAAUUUGHHHHHHHHHH! it lasted until the xanax took over. so i sat on the patio drinking flat coke, chain smoking and coughing my head off. my neighbors must love me.

i ha a lot of nice, short dreams. no rushing around, no yelling or chasing. just relazing happy little vignettes. i think i actually felt guilty when i woke up for enjoying them so much. plus when doc isn't home when i wake up i always feel like i'm in trouble. but if i was, he would have left me a note.

now i'm cold cold cold. it's 66 out. it's not cold out. or in here. but i'm huddled in front of my space heater.

i think i have to find a doctor. i'll have doc ask around at work, he'll find someone nearby who the others he works with goes to. i think it's time i see someone about this cold. it comes and goes and it's intense. i'm tired of it.
2013, cyd, new


i watch you while you sleep
i know that creeps you out
but i can't help it can't not do it
i love you while you sleep
i know it would creep you out
but i can't let go of my love for you

i can't write. i thought watching matt on his writer cam would inspire me, but it didn't. just made me think of doc. and i can't write about doc without sounding cheesey and i refuse to sound cheesey. the difference between me and most poets. most poets just go with whatever comes out.

if you want to watch matt on his writercam, i don't know how much longer he'll be at it tonight. but it's fun to watch his facial expressions.
2013, cyd, new

for tripper and me

You guys ready...
Alone...listless...breakfast table in an otherwise empty room
Young of her own attention
Mother reads aloud, child tries to understand it
Tries to make her proud
The shades go down, it's in her head
Painted room...can't deny there's something wrong...
Don't call me daughter, not fit to
The picture kept will remind me
Don't call me daughter, not fit to
The picture kept will remind me
Don't call me..
She holds the hand that holds her down
She will...rise above..

"Daughter" -- Prearl Jam
2013, cyd, new


i feel weird talking to you
you are not approachable
and it's not our past that
gets under my feet
it's that you never showed
any interest in a future
i feel like your contact
and i don't know if i like
being relegated there
but there's nothing i can
do about it now, not this late
you built up this wall
to keep me out
because i hurt you
over and over and over
and i never even meant to
and maybe that's
what you found so grievous
but i feel weird talking to you
you're so far away now.