September 15th, 2012

2013, cyd, new

lj entry: so why was i ever a cam girl again?

i have spent hours sifting through images of me, 1,000s of them, looking for images of henry and chloe for a photo book. i got this photo book free from shutterfly.com as a bonus for signing up for klout.com and letting them crush my ego (or try) once a week; the only thing i have to do is get it done and ordered by midnight tomorrow. so i've been looking at a lot of me for a lot of time. i think i hate this more than i hate reading my own work. i have to bite the bullet soon and A) archive the pictures in my coppermine gallery on my site and, B) read my own damned work and edit the book i wrote and see if it is salvageable. oh, and of that all? i only isolated 50 or so images i liked of the cats. but it's more than i had and the book will look nice. i also found some images of our dogs that doc has never seen that i'm throwing in there. i would include the hamsters, but there have been so damn many of them.

oh good, torchwood is on. that saves me from having to turn on some music. people are coming over. apparently this is the hip, relaxing place to be. i agree. last night went by so fast it's all a blur and i was the one not drinking. suddenly it was 4am and my eyes were crossing. i slept for an hour and a half on the loveseat and then got up, refreshed. bonus to not drinking. though i tell you, if doc brings home Rolling Rock one day, i will suck it down. and i'll listen to old techno while doing it.

it's time to go freecycling. i need two keyboards, one mouse and i'll have to suck it up and buy the trackball to replace what's missing, broken. apparently more damage was done at the end of the friendship than we thought. sweet jesus i hope my computers work, they are old, but i can network them and get my data off the broken one and get it fixed. they better work okay. i will go to where he works and beat him with his own ham-like arm.

on to happier things . . .

i remember having a bit of a tantrum last night when doc spoke to me in a very ugly tone in front of people. i just quietly went to my room with sai sai and shut the door and sat there for fifteen minutes calming down until doc came in and apologized. it was silly, but it was nice to have my own space to go to and be safe. i liked that. sai sai didn't mind either. he got cuddles.

he and felix seem to have arranged to take me in shifts. that sounded wrong. anyway, felix cuddles me during the day while i do the computer thing or nap on the couch or hang out on the patio. sai sai gets me at night. once the sun goes down, i am his. then he sleeps on the couch next to me. and he sleeps with me at night.

speaking of sai sai, i am VERY proud of him. he's made some important steps this week. he's letting me pet his back and sides and belly as long as he's standing up. and he seems to crave the back scratches the most. secondly, at feeding time he has refused to follow the order of things and digs in first, so i have been gently leading him into the laundry room and closing the door until the others are done eating. the past two nights, he has gone into the room and sat down on his own, without me even saying anything to him to prompt him. good kitty. he's rare, beautiful, and smart. and some schmuck gave him up. i hate people as much as i love cats.

okay, people are here. time to go have a smoke and catch up on the day with friends. unlike me, they actually leave their houses and do things like i used to do and will do again.

i know i say this often, but there i people i know out there who only check in every little bit . . . to follow my lj, twitter and fb, check me out on facebook under Kristin Cydniey Egger. or just to get some twitter, i'm there @cydniey. i post pictures and videos there now, as well as links, and it isn't just about the cats. on twitter, i am actually political sometimes.
2013, cyd, new

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2013, cyd, new

lj entry: "look for what seems out of place"

i just found the lost images. windows 7 decided to put them in dated files, so i have to search for them, but they are safe and i can get the photo book done. this is all VERY GOOD as doc freaked right out when he found out what it was i thought i'd lost. after i worked all night to find them and get zen with the absolute fuck up, and he loses it. then i open the bloody windows live program, there's an open file set with the pictures assorted by date. i cried. then i plugged in a flash drive and backed the fuckers up.

i need to sort out my computer bullshit. put the three machines together. i'm also missing two power cords from computer to wall. once i can acquire this and the keyboards and mice, i can reconnect the machines, they are already networked, just waiting for the connection. then i can do this right, back shit up. burn it to disk and flash drive and put them away for safe keeping. i know i've put it off too long, but hey.

and we switched windows 7 over to classic mode and everything works much faster now. plus i now know where the hell i am when i'm navigating the computer looking for stuff. and i got my henry rollins desktop picture back. doc hates it. henry is looking really hatefully at the camera in front of a graffiti wall. i'll get tired of it soon enough. it was the tardis for a while. that was a good one.
2013, cyd, new

lj entry: why do i do this to myself?

this is how it goes:
i find a project
i have a deadline
i put it off until the last minute
i fuck something up, or think i did in the rush
i stress out over it and maybe fight with doc
i find out i didn't fuck up, the computer did
everything turns out fine
i am exhausted

and i do this to myself over and over. this is how i am now. i am fucking brain damaged. i can't think straight through a project. i am so frustrated with myself.

but a beautiful photo book of the pets we've had is on its way to me and will make a lovely gift for doc. and i got it for $13 all told. not quite free, but not the $40 plus it would have cost to do. and i never would have done it for that.