September 6th, 2012

2013, cyd, new

ack, a bit of a rant, sorry

i was thinking about going out and walking up a block to try to get a better view of the sunrise, but i can't get myself out the door. BB's words are ringing in my head from last night, "just do it". but the locks on the front door may as well need a key i don't seem to have. maybe tomorrow. i'll go out and get the mail today in preparation. and in the mean time find different views from the house.

so yeah, BB was over last night. he and doc got a little tipsy. doc cooked, like he does; and BB and i hung out on the patio. i showed him my books, and though i told him he wasn't obligated to read any of the contents, i was just proud of the formatting, which i had done myself. but he read a few pieces. and they left an impression. once he loosened up, he told me i was brilliant and talented and full of potential and that i needed to live up to it. i'm sorry. he's a nice guy, and i adore him and love hanging out with him, but blah blah blah. i've heard it all before and it doesn't GET ME ANYWHERE.

nice to hear it. find five people to buy my book. or find five people i can give it to. find five people who will go to my website and listen to me. or go to my podcast and listen to me and read along. don't just jabber at me. help me. love to hear it, ego stroke and everything, but that means NOTHING ultimately. my ego is my own responsibility, though i appreciate your help with it, sure.

i'm long past wanting fame or money. i just want an audience. and my front teeth. no matter what BB tried to say to make me feel better, i want implants, soon.
2013, cyd, new

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