November 1st, 2011

2013, cyd, new

(no subject)

doc turned out the light and turned on the space heater and left the tv on MNBC for me last night. i woke up to a perfectly warm, dark news environment. just the way i like it.

so why do i feel so bad again? i've already taken the extra anti depressant. doc is staying home with me today to watch me, he's concerned about yesterday. i told him how bad it got.

i want today to be better.
2013, cyd, new

another day got through

having doc home stopped me from ODing. i don't know what i'll do tomorrow. NCIS is on all day, that will keep me entertained.

doc went out and got me chinese food for dinner. eggroll and crab rangoons. then he went back to the boy's. his scooter is there because his headlight is out. he's got high beams, just nothing else.

if my meds aren't working, maybe i should go to the hospital and get them adjusted. as long as they don't over medicate me like they sometimes do. then i go to my shrink and have them adjusted again. i just don't know. i don't want to lose my freedom, but i don't want to OD and fail like before. i'm so confused.