October 9th, 2011

2013, cyd, new

(no subject)

i'm having a good day, but i'm all discombobulated. i slept until almost 2 this afternoon. i took my weekend med cocktail last night, 3 trazadone, xanax, and antipsychotic. it's the extra trazadone and xanax that keep me asleep and relaxed. i remember getting up sometime after sunrise to go to the bathroom and doc wasn't home. he had gone out with the guys. he was here when i woke up at 2, and we got to talk a little bit before he fell asleep in his chair.

though he's not fully asleep. his feet are still moving. until they stop, he's still partly awake. you learn these things over 14 years. god, i can't believe we've been together that long. wow. we're getting old.

maybe that's why i hate drum circles so much. i can't believe people on wall street expect to be taken seriously when they're sitting around playing bongos and dancing around like they're on drugs. why must every demonstration turn into a grateful dead tailgate? it detracts from the people down there trying to actually make a point. it really pets my peeve.
2013, cyd, new

67 right now

i got my phone this week. it was free, it came from safelink.com. it took me a couple of days to not be intimidated by it and start playing with it. i changed the ring tone and added doc's phone as a contact. next i need to set up my voicemail. i just won't do that while doc's around. i feel too self conscious.

freddie ate first at the wet food tonight. i think she's trying to establish herself as alpha. a fight she will soon lose as soon as her pheromones go back to normal.

i'm bored silly. doc is asleep in the chair, NCIS is on, as usual. and i'm running out of reese's pieces. i didn't have enough money on my card to get more yesterday. that used to be a humiliating thing for me, now i don't really care. hell, i'm nearly toothless and i'm not self conscious about that, though i should be. i'm also not embarrassed for my scars now. if people see them or don't, it doesn't really matter to me. it was a phase i grew out of. i think. it's been a year or more since i hurt myself. it kind of faded away like my thumb sucking. they just aren't things i do anymore.