August 4th, 2011

2013, cyd, new

i got through the day and nobody got hurt

bad mental health day. i was totally schizo all day. doc stayed home with me tonight to keep an eye on me. while it did occur to me to do something bad while he napped, i distracted myself until he woke up. some days my meds just don't work. plus i started a new med today.

then i got teased for looking like a transexual. i get it, my hair is short, my butt is flat. some bullies never grow up.

doc was nice to me again all day/night. it was a relief because i really didn't need any shit and i didn't start any.

i've plum run out of things to say.
2013, cyd, new

(no subject)

this morning i got up bleary eyed at six to go to the bathroom. i ended up taking my meds so i'd wake up in good shape (it worked), and tech was by the door meowing at me. i knew he didn't want to go out at six in the morning and wondered in my half sleep what his deal was. that was when i heard it, a plaintive howl. no loud meow this, no. a howl of despair and fear. and i opened the door and there was felix on the porch, trapped in the sun and frantic like a vampire would be. i got tech to back off and felix came in and started chattering at me immediately, telling me the story of his night, no doubt. i pet him and told him to come to bed after he ate. then i went back to bed and fell asleep until 11.

when i woke up for real, doc was already up. we made coffee and he talked to me about i don't know what. i was listening, i was just half asleep and i forgot. he left for work a half an hour early, again, i don't remember why.

he's taking my clothes to goodwill tomorrow, and i'm really glad. each day that bag sits here, it gets harder to let go of what's in it. but i want a clean break and most of those clothes are connected to memories i'd rather not have anymore. i've been watching too many hoarding shows and i just want to purge and he is resistant to that. we got into a tiff yesterday in the kitchen because he saves empty jars with lids. and i went digging on a shelf for something and found jars. and i wanted him to get rid of them, this shelf is dangerously overcrowded and we don't have room for them. i eventually let it go and he eventually took one of the jars off the shelf and threw it into a recycling bag. i don't want to be a bitch about it, but i can't take this clutter anymore. we will be happier people without it, and the move will be a lot easier.