May 1st, 2011

2013, cyd, new

(no subject)

doc and i got into a huge fight yesterday. he wasn't feeling well. which i didn't know. or i would have tread far more lightly around him. we now know the damage a yogurt cup will do when hurled into the bedroom at a certain angle. we also know that we clean up our own messes. i was told to clean the yogurt and i refused. not my mess. a half an hour later it was over. but so unnecessary. and exhausting. he got so upset over nothing. totally overreacted, and blamed me for it all.

i mistakenly said i was afraid he was going to leave me, and even though it isn't a real fear, he's been playing it for all it's worth. my bigger worry is that i'll leave him. but i'm used to the status quo here and i don't want to leave. he told me i was pushing him further away. and i'm trying my best. my best isn't good enough, in fact it's been working against me. not encouraging is it? as long as i feel safe, which i do, i don't want to leave. he's a grumpy hypocrite but he doesn't make me feel like i'm in danger. and safe is my biggest need. and i have it here. flying yogurt cups notwithstanding, it wasn't flying at me.

congratulations to jloopy becoming a GILF. all the best to the baby.
2013, cyd, new

i just went for a walk

yay me!

my lighter was dying and i had no milk for coffee so i went up to the corner store and got a double gulp of coke to replace the coffee, and a lighter to replace the dying one. i also discovered they had nag champa for sale, so i got a box of that and lit one as soon as i got home. it's been about a month since i ran out, and i never run out. i didn't get milk for coffee because it's too expensive at the corner store and doc would have a fit. so he can have black coffee for breakfast.

i tried to write a piece about the fight yesterday but the whole thing was so absurd and i just don't feel anything about it. i'm embarrassed because M was home and up and had a front row seat to our madness. i bet we make him glad he's single.
2013, cyd, new

wow

bin laden is dead. omg. hooray us!

movie of the week, or feature film?

M pointed out hussein only got a movie of the week.