February 10th, 2011

frances farmer

(no subject)

i just want to go to sleep. i've been up for three hours and taken my meds and eaten yogurt and doc has gone to bed and i just want to sleep. i even had a cup of coffee. i'm debating making more.

last night i tackled a corner of the workroom and ended up with a pile of recycling. a bag and a big basket for donation and a bag of trash. the only problem i see is getting stuff to be donated to the drop off point with the scooter. the trash is easy. the recycling is up to doc. i plan to do this with the whole apartment. until i've gotten rid of at least half of my stuff. i want to purge. get rid of all the stuff that's weighing me down.

i'm feeling better today, although i had a little freak out on doc. it hasn't taken long, he's returning to his old ways of ordering me around and scrutinizing me and i'm tired of him always being out to get me. the two weeks of peace was nice, but i knew it wouldn't last. he can't just change the way he thinks and what sets him off, which is me not following orders. i'm not in the military, i don't want to be bossed around.

time for coffee. i don't know what the fuck i want to bother being awake for, but i may as well.