January 19th, 2011

hidey chloe

chloe, day three

doc went in to visit her today and met the vet who is taking care of her. he said she was doing much better and was eating, a lot for chloe. we will have to give her shots of fluids and pills every day for the rest of her life, but it's a small price to pay for having her longer. so long as she's not in pain. we can pick her up and pay for her on friday. i think doc is looking into overtime at work. i'm not going to go visit chloe today. they don't let you back to the cages, so you have to take up an exam rooms for visits. doc was there for a while and said the office got very busy. so i won't go up and bug them. doc goes in first thing in the morning before they really get going for the day.

doc is dealing fairly well. he leaned over the couch yesterday morning and told me a bunch of stuff that i really needed to hear. this morning he was himself, which was nice. he even asked me how yesterday was, i told him today would be better. the vet stuff was utterly terrifying. i never like to hear the cats are sick. and the experience with henry was so traumatic. i guess i was in denial about how sick chloe was getting, and so was doc. we are both mad at ourselves and the important thing is that we don't take it out on each other. chloe is in treatment, everything will be fine. our schedules will change a little and maybe having her care to focus on will take the pressure off each other. have something else to focus on. besides so relentlessly each other.

i tried to tell him a story about me and felix, but it went so horribly wrong in the middle i didn't know how to finish it. and he said "i don't mean to nitpick but i got the beginning and part of the middle. but did it end?" humiliating, i can't even speak around him anymore. i felt so silly. the first time i try to talk on my own without any prompting and it made no sense. i've got to work on this. so next time i speak, i make some sort of sense.
2013, cyd, new

highs in the 60s today

no panic when i woke up today. again i think the key is getting up while doc is still up and in a good mood. today's his last day of work before his weekend. three days of chloe stress can't go well.

plus this puts off getting our glasses picked up. i was hoping to do it tomorrow. but we're going to blow a wad of money on her, so the glasses can wait another week. i will be so glad to get them but i can wait a while.

i was falling asleep on the couch and decided i needed coffee, so now i'm brewing some now. i can smell it and it's so warm and inviting. i've been freezing since i got up. i even have the space heater on. i think that's why i stay in bed in the morning, it's warm and toasty and i don't want to get out from under the covers. that and the cuteness of felix. then i get up and get dressed and sit in front of the space heater for a few minutes.