September 1st, 2010

2013, cyd, new

slowly back up to the 105 degrees

i was just sitting here in the chair, zoning out to the tv and i noticed i was sitting forward, leaning on my knees. so i leaned back and relaxed against the back of the chair and i swear my whole world view changed. doc is right, i am tense when i'm sitting up like that. i need to physically relax and maybe i'll mentally relax.

today i woke again in a panic because doc wasn't in bed yet and i wondered if he was home and freaking out a little and then i heard him cough and fell back to sleep for a while. i got up at around 10:20 and haven't done a thing since. but i've only been up for two hours, how much can possibly be expected from me? it's not like i had kids to look after.

i really got lucky with that one, finding someone who didn't want kids as much as i didn't want kids. i'm just about too old to have a healthy child and nothing is changing. his biological clock isn't going off and mine doesn't even tick.

ugh, it's only wednesday. i want to take a nap, but i can only do that on thursdays, fridays and saturdays. the days doc doesn't need coffee to get up for work. i don't know why i'm so tired. i'm torn between taking a diet pill and making coffee. making coffee and drinking more than a cup gets me yelled at, so i best not do that. i made him mad somehow yesterday and it sucked, want to avoid that at all costs. so i'll take a diet pill and wake the fuck up. i can't be dozing here. i have stuff to do. not much but stuff.
2013, cyd, new

still not as hot as they say

and i'm not complaining a bit! definite cool down expected for tuesday, my walk should be nice. i have to remember to ask doc for money for the thrift store so i can do a shopping trip at the same time.

doc mocked my girly shirt. so i went in and put on one of my extra huge tshirts and was much more comfortable. the girly stuff just isn't for me. i can't wait until the fall when i can wear my vintage clothes.

today i am completely dissociated from my body. even typing is slow and full of backspacing. i've been like this since doc got cross with me last evening. i think it triggered me and i just checked out. i can't believe it's nearly three. aside from cleaning the kitchen and emptying the dishwasher it's all a blur. NCIS is on USA all day, that could explain the hours blending into one another.