August 4th, 2010

2013, cyd, new

i can't think of a subject

which is indicative of my day. i did nothing. accomplished nothing. consumed ice and cigarettes.

why are anti depressant commercials so depressing?

i've been experiencing this second wind at night right after i take my meds. so i'm going to try to stay up later tonight and not medicate myself so heavily with the OTC sleep meds on top of my prescribed sleep meds. if i stay up late enough, i'll sleep in sufficiently. i've been getting up around nine, and that's not so bad. i just want to quit with the extra medication.

felix and jack are running around playing pounce with one another. they're making a lot of noise. i think i need to go break that up.

sleep well, or wake well. your choice, you only get one.
2013, cyd, new

no subject

i only got four hours of sleep last night. i am most unhappy about it. but instead of falling asleep in the chair or even back in bed, i went out. i know. i went out. walked up and got smokes again. now i've had a powerade and my morning meds and i'm awake.

i'm in chat but it's mostly silliness going on. nothing that i really contribute to. i'm lonely.
i am here


i self injured about an hour ago, and though i felt better then, now i am wracked with guilt and fear of when doc finds out. why do i do this? oh well, it's done. damnit.

not a good day, and i still have 13 more hours of it to get through. oy.